Don’t Add This Poison To Your Business Cocktail
September 26, 2008
I was sitting here feeling a bit sorry for myself yesterday. I’m choked up with the cold bug from hell. I always get cold or flu around this time of year, when there’s lots of bugs around. It’s the only time I wish it would freeze and kill the little buggers. And my husband – Stuart is away for a few days, so I miss him. I hate having to make my own coffee.
Anyway, I was feeling kind of sad because Stuart and I have decided not to work together anymore, after five years of doing so. First, Stuart worked for me, in my fire and flood restoration business – that is how we met, then we ran another business together.
It’s a smart move – we both have different things we want to do., I shouldn’t have been feeling sad – because I don’t normally throw that lethal poison into my business decisions: emotion. And you shouldn’t either.
Emotion Poisons Your Decisions
Many people do make decisions based on emotion. And plenty of advertisers are aware of that, which is why so many people are up to their eyeballs in debt. But if you allow emotion to influence major business decisions, instead of relying on your head and your gut instinct, you could wind up in serious trouble.
Becoming Too Attached To Your Business Can Prevent You From Moving On
When I sold my fire and flood restoration business, Stuart left at the same time as I did. He admitted feeling sad, on that last day. But I didn’t even allow myself to think about feeling that way. I did love my business – we provided a great service to our customers and I really enjoyed my work.
But I had good reasons for selling. Some real chauvinistic assholes were deliberately making my life difficult (it was a franchise) and I was also tired of getting paid late and in some cases, not getting paid at all. Plus, I’d been planning to sell a couple of years down the line, as I wanted to do something on my own. So for me, it was the right move. Once you’ve made a positive decision to sell a business, you should never allow emotion to cloud it, or you’ll find it impossible to move on.
*If you find you’re feeling emotional when it comes to selling a business, ask yourself if your reasons for selling have changed. If they haven’t, be satisfied that you’ve made the right decision and that the change will be a positive one.
Allowing Emotions To Influence Business Decisions Can Cost You Money
When we made the decision to wind up our plumbing business, once again Stuart felt sad, as we wouldn’t be able to use the same branding again and it was eyecatching and effective. But I quickly reminded him not to think about it anymore. We’d be able to develop better brands in the future.
Once I’d made the decision to wind up the business, I didn’t allow it to upset me at all, because it was a positive decision. I’d only allowed it a year to break even. But a few hiccups had prevented us from meeting that target.
I know a year isn’t long, if you’re putting quite a bit of cash into a business and employing folk right from the start. But, we’d ran out of cash, because I was still owed money from my fire and flood restoration business (I still am – but that’s another story).
If I’d enjoyed the business, I’d have borrowed the money to keep going. But we’d planned to sell it after seven years and I’d realised that I simply didn’t want to commit that amount of time to it. I just didn’t have the passion for that type of business. And we’d made a mistake starting it, but ending it was a smart thing to do.
Too many people avoid winding up a business for the wrong reasons. Sometimes they don’t want to take the financial loss, or they worry about the stigma attached to doing so and often they simply don’t want to admit they were wrong. And all these thoughts prevent them from doing the right thing.
If You Find Yourself Feeling Emotional About Any Aspect Of Business – Stop And Ask Yourself Why. The only reason you should try to save a struggling business is because you really want to, you’re passionate about the business and because you know it can still work.
So, I didn’t allow emotions to effect my decision making in either of those situations. Then why on earth did I get upset that Stuart won’t be joining me in my new business venture? I stopped to ask myself why and the answers were fairly simple.
I have a cold from hell, so that is making me feel week and vulnerable. Plus I have PMT, so that is making me feel a bit down. My husband has been away for a few days, so naturally I miss him but that doesn’t mean I need to work with him.
Reminding me of these things made me realise that I’m not really upset about this new positive change we’ve made. It’s silly little things that are making me feel sad.
So Don’t Forget: If you find yourself using your emotions to make a business decision, ask yourself if other problems are causing you to feel that way.
Image Credit: The Bitten Word
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Comments
23 Responses to “Don’t Add This Poison To Your Business Cocktail”
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Successful And Outstanding Blogger
It’s very hard to separate what’s going on in your business with what’s going on in the rest of your life. It’s not always advisable to try, either. But, I agree with you Cath, that we should try to be very clear about what it is that is motivating us.
Brad Shorr’s last blog post..Whose Smile Warms Your Heart?
Hi Cath,
Just what I needed to read today! Thank you! I faced a discouraging turn this week, and now must press on. Sometimes what we envision is not what transpires, but manifests in a different way. Emotional responses drain our energy.
Also, I wondered if you were still under the weather. Seems like it’s been going on a long time. I’ve found megadoses of Vitamin C work like a charm. Hope you get some rest, too!
Betsy’s last blog post..OUTSIDE, SEEING
Hi Cath. Sooo sorry you are under the weather. Hope you feel better real soon. I’m sure Rita’s f.a.x.e.d chicken soup will do the trick — ha ha.
Sometimes those silly little things are more important to you than you think, or want to admit. Pamper yourself today.
It is true that you can’t let emotions get in the way. That is true with life coaching too. Self-management tools are key when having to put yourself aside so that you can be there for your client; cause it’s all about them.
Davina’s last blog post..Free Spirit My Ass!
Cath -
We must be riding the same “wave” together. I’m still fighting infection from my dental surgery over 3 weeks ago.
I had a couple of things come up last week when I was really feeling like ten kinds of crap. Emotion took over and FORTUNATELY my husband was there to ask the important question, “Do you HAVE to make a decision about this TODAY when you’re feeling so ill?”
Emotion is definitely a distorting lens. Sometimes it makes important things seem small. In my case, it made something quite small appear larger than life. Thanks for highlighting the fact that it can act as POISON to anyone’s business decisions.
Kathy @ virtual Impax’s last blog post..Best Kept Internet Marketing Strategies Secrets
Cath, being able to separate emotions and put them to right places is commendable. This post has lot of value for me. I usually tend to gravitate towards doing what I love and not doing the rest (which doesn’t work in life or business). Then I wonder why aren’t things progressing the way they should
I guess the next time this happens, I will remember this post.
One question for you although – when do you know that it’s time to wind up (because it’s sensible) or it’s time to stick a bit long (you are just going through a tough phase, no need to back out).
Cold is very irritating. Hope you get well soon.
Avani-Mehta’s last blog post..How To Pick Your First Anger Management Area – Anger Management Series Part IV
Hey Cath, I understand how sad it must feel not just in selling away the business but in “losing” that emotional bond with your husband through working together. It’s great that you are sharing your grief through writing about it; I’d like to think it helped to provide you with some relief in the release. It’s good to remember the good and bad times of your old business; but let’s also be renewed with hope that you now have the space for perhaps something more rewarding and fulfilling to come along.
Hugs,
Evelyn
Evelyn Lim’s last blog post..Building The Businesses Of Our Dreams
Excellent business advice.
Feel better soon, Cath.
Vered – MomGrind’s last blog post..Saw “Burn After Reading”. Non-Botoxed Actresses. Awesome.
Great advice…it is challenging for me to separate work and personal. It is also unfair for my wife and children that I might be withdrawn because my mind is elsewhere….I have made a conscious effort to push the work out of my mind while away….it seems to have gotten better. Nice post and feel better soon!
Mark Salinas’s last blog post..Link Love Friday
Hi Cath: I think you point out something important here; a lot of the time we think we’re sad, angry, and so on, about one thing, while it’s really about something else entirely. I hope you feel better soon
Marelisa’s last blog post..Three Awesome Productivity Tips
I totally hear you, Cath. There are two sides to this equation:
- the seller
- the buyer
The seller wants to appeal to the buyer’s emotion and the buyer listens to their illogical emotions. Depending on which side of the equation you’re on, you should learn how to or how not to use this tool (emotion).
Even though I know this, I still have fallen victim to my emotions. I’ve made and lost money in real estate. Every time I’ve lost money it was due to an emotional attachment. Even though the left hemisphere of my brain (the logical side) told me I was cutting it too close I chose to listen to my right emotional hemisphere.
As an entrepreneur, we have to think of our emotions as a tool. As a human, we should listen to them . . . uh, sometimes
I see that you are talking about two types of emotion here.
1. Passion – this is what you want – without it, no one will buy. If you don’t believe in your product/service and want to evangelize about it, then no one else will.
2. Insecurity-based ego – this is that you don’t want – decisions taken from within this emotional state deal with the spoiled brat inside us that says “it’s not fair” and worries about silly concepts like honour.
Unfortunately far too many people live from within the second one. Glad you’re able to make the distinction even when you’re feeling sick. Well done!
Cheers
Alex
(PS Feel better soon!)
Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome’s last blog post..Madonna and the Success of Hypocrisy
Hi Catherine,
One thing I’ve noticed is when we sell a piece of equipment we’ve had for many years, it kinda makes us sad. Of course the sadness doesn’t last long as we have money in hand and and reinvest it into the business. When the day comes we sell/end our business it will be sad, but on the other hand, I know by then we’ll have something bigger and better to look forward to. Just like you.
I hope you get to feeling better real soon.
Barbara Swafford’s last blog post..Updates – Time Tracking – Open Mic
Hi Brad – that is true – sometimes you’ve got to look at the whole picture – especially if something in your life is affecting your business performance and vice versa.
Hi Betsy – thanks, I’ll get some vitamin C. I’m sorry your Alaska trip came to an end. It sounds like you had a wonderful time and I hope you get to go back soon.
LOL Rita – I’m betting your products do sell themselves. I would love some chicken soup. Loved your story about your friends surprise birthday party by the way.
Hi Davina – I’m guessing that would be really difficult. I’ve often wondered how life coaches cope if their client is going through a difficulty which they are facing themselves at the same time.
Hi Kathy – Oh no – you must be in a lot of pain. I hope the infection clears up soon. It’s weird how the silliest little problems seem huge when we’re ill isn’t it. Like you – I’ve just kept to the basic minimum this week – most things can wait.
Hi Avani – thank you. It’s all to easy to stick with doing the things you love and try to avoid doing important stuff isn’t it? I’ve done that myself on many occassions.
Your question is a good one. But the answer is a long one. I’ve been thinking about this and I’m going to write a post on it. Will ping you when it’s up.
Hi Evelyn – Thanks. But don’t worry – I’m not sad. It’s only having a cold and stuff that’s making me feel like that. Truly – deep down I’m extremely excited.
Hi Vered – thank you. I’m trying my best. I want to get well to see that film you were talking about.
Hi Mark – thank you. I know what you mean. It’s easy to start thinking about work when you’re doing stuff with the family isn’t it. I share that bad habit too – they I try not to do it.
Hi Mare – thank you. It almost always is something completely different that’s making you feel that way isn’t it?
Hi John – you’ve got it. When you’re used to selling stuff to folk, I think it’s easier to make sure you’re not making an emotional decision isn’t it? I guess that’s because when you’re selling, you’re trying to appeal to their emotions.
I’ve made the same mistake as you. A few years ago, I was having a bad day and thought I would buy something to cheer me up. But instead of buying a pair of shoes or something, I bought some shares on impulse – without doing any research. And the company I invested in went bust.
Hi Alex – thank you. I guess I’ve had so many irrational thoughts over the years that I’ve got used to questioning them. And now I’ve added another question to the mix – “what’s good about this”. I’ve got so used to Tom Volkar telling me to ask that question that I do it habitually now.
Hi Barbara – selling equipment can be sad sometimes can’t it – especially vehicles – you do sometimes get that silly emotional attachment. It is even worse when a heap of your equipment gets stolen, because, as you know, you reinvest your profits too by that stuff.
When that happened to me, I went into shock. It’s difficult to deal with the fact that someone who worked with you may have betrayed your trust to that extent.
Cath Lawson’s last blog post..Don’t Add This Poison To Your Business Cocktail
Hi Rita – Thanks for thinking about me. I still feel like shit warmed up. I’m so wimpy when it comes to colds though.
Cath Lawson’s last blog post..Don’t Add This Poison To Your Business Cocktail
Business is business, right? While I agree that sometimes that means you have to make choices based on the business itself, that doens’t mean that emotions have no place. Your emotions are like your internal feedback mechanism for what’s happening in your life, and it’s vital that you listen to them.
That doesn’t mean you have to act on them, but acknowledgement is key. It takes guts, but it’s vital.
What matters is your intention, both in business and in life. When you have the right intention, when you engage with something that matters to you, then your emotions can actually be a help to you if used in the right ways.
Steve Errey’s last blog post..McCain on Confidence and Consistency
hope you feel better if you are not by now.
I never had much of a business to get emotional over, not with a business partner anyway, but I could see that happening. I guess when you work with someone for a while, you get used to having them around.
Natural’s last blog post..Do Excuses Negate Responsibility?
Cath,
You’re so right. We had to take emotion out of some tough decisions we made this year. Even though things were going okay in the business, we could see signs that things could deteriorate if we didn’t tackle them.
And then recently, we noticed a bit of lateness and sickness creeping in. I know you may have sympathy the way you’re feeling right now, but you can’t put up with that in business.
That’s why for the first time, we had to get tough. Up until then, everyone was pulling their weight. But one bad egg started the sickies and lates. And suddenly everyone starts doing the same.
So we scrapped sick pay and had individual meetings with every member of staff.
One of the worst offenders decided to resign. Out of sheer embarassment I think because he’d been caught out having false sickies.
We gave him a sub on his wages “for an unexpected bill” the day after he was off with a sore stomach.
And as we have an open email policy, I had to check his inbox because we were waiting for a confirmation email on a big job. Lo and behold an email from his friend pops up asking how his big date last night went.
Anyway, waffling again as usual. The point being you have to take emotion out of it.
Since we started cracking down on punctuality and sickness, it’s pretty much stopped.
And we’re on top of things. Allowing things like that to continue can kill a business. It was one of many factors which led to our going bust before.
Ian Denny’s last blog post..IT Helpdesk And Field Support Vacancies
Hi Steve – I totally agree, you should always listen to your emotions. But you should pay close attention to what they’re really telling you.
Hi Valerie – I still feel crap – but thank you for asking. I guess it’s the same if you’ve been working with someone for a while, regardless of the circumstances. There’s some folk you’ll miss working with and others that you pray you’ll never have to work with again.
Hi Ian – Hey – just because I’m ill – doesn’t mean I condone skiving ever. I know what problems you’ve had before.
I had similar ones – they’d often work it out so they were off the Friday and Monday of every month. And I loaned money to one of those losers to and never got it back. In the end – sacking him was far more important than the money.
Also I’ve had people phone in sick to do foreigners. And another idiot who thought it was ok to be at least 45 minutes late each day.
Like you – I used to put up with this shit but when you’ve been burned several times, you become a lot tougher. For me, having a heap of stuff stolen was the final straw.
I’m glad you’re keeping on top of it this time. Once you’ve lost a business – you start to take a tougher stance against these opportunists.
This is a great post, Cath. You seem like such a smart, switched on business woman and what you say makes perfect sense. Emotion does cloud our judgment so it really has no place in making business decisions.
I really like that quote about making time – it’s so true and I remind myself of it any time I get lax with my writing. Sometimes the answer comes back that I don’t want to make time and that’s valid because sometimes you need a break from goals and striving. But if you’re just making excuses then looking at time differently is a great way to re-motivate yourself.
I also like what you wrote here:
“If you find you’re feeling emotional when it comes to selling a business, ask yourself if your reasons for selling have changed. If they haven’t, be satisfied that you’ve made the right decision and that the change will be a positive one.”
Very sensible. And it applies just as well to selling other major assets, like houses, I think. Parting with anything where you have invested a lot of yourself is hard.
Hope you’re feeling better soon. My son is sick at the moment and it;s such a drag.
Kelly
Kelly@SHE-POWER’s last blog post..Why Blogging is Like Backpacking
Thanks Kelly – I don’t feel smart and switched on right now – it’s more like someone has clobbered me round the head with a cricket bat.
I guess a lot of people feel that way about houses don’t they? I remember feeling like that, the first time I moved, even though my bedroom was the size of a rabbit hutch.
It’s silly isn’t it? I guess people feel like they’re leaving a lot of memories in those places but really, we’re taking them with us.
I hope Bunny is feeling better soon.
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