There’s Always A New Kind Of Shit To Deal With

February 18, 2009

I’m so grateful to all of you who contacted me to see how I was over the past few weeks. And I’m sorry for worrying people but I’ve had problems lately that I’ve been unable to discuss. For most of this year, I’ve found it necessary to cut myself off from most of the world around me and I feel quite guilty. Until yesterday, I didn’t even know about the horrific fires in Melbourne and the devastation that the folk in Australia have been experiencing. I’m sorry but I’ve been going through a bit of a bad time. And it’s never the shit you’re expecting that happens.

You Shouldn’t Bury Your Head In The Sand When You Feel Unwell

As some of you know, I was ill with a chest infection at the beginning of the year. It cleared up but I didn’t feel “better”. I felt exhausted to the point that I could barely function and it worried me. So instead of worrying about what might be wrong, I more or less switched myself off. I guess a visit to the doctor’s would have been a smart idea but folk don’t always make the best decisions when they’re not feeling 100%.

Don’t Assume People Know What They’re Talking About – Sometimes They’re Full Of Shit

Anyway, eventually, I discovered that I was pregnant. It was kind of a shock – I’m 39 and I already have a 14 year old and an 11 year old. But it was a relief too, as I had been imagining the very worst. And initially, I was quite pleased. Stuart and I haven’t had any children together, so he was happy too.

Trouble was things still didn’t feel right. I know it’s normal to feel knackered in the first three months of pregnancy but I felt virtually comatose. Also, a couple of people, including a doctor, told me I was too old to have another baby. And I know it may sound silly but when you’re not feeling your best to begin with, you start to believe what some folk tell you – especially when you think they know what they’re talking about.

Reading Too Many Facts Can Make You Feel Worse

I began Googling for facts – and everything I read made me feel worse. I had a 1 in 113 chance of having a baby with Downs Syndrome. The more I thought about those numbers, the worse I felt. Would I play Russian Roulette, if there was only a 1 in 113 chance the gun was loaded? Absolutely no fucking way. And the more I thought like that – the more depressing it all seemed.

Then it occured to me that some medication I’ve been taking for a while, could be potentially harmful to an unborn baby. So I searched the Internet and my suspicions were confirmed. The drug had caused brain damage and deformities in unborn human babies and the results had been the same on tests carried out on pregnant animals. Well, by that point, I felt even worse.

If You’re Trying To Make An Ethical Decision – Avoid Judgmental, Biased People

I already had a gut feeling that something was terribly wrong. So I had a huge dilemma. I’ve always been against the idea of abortion for me personally – although I would not judge others, as everyone’s situation is different. And I’m not religious but I believe in God, so I agonized over making an ethical decision. Would it be right to give birth to a child, if there was a risk that it could be severely brain damaged and have no quality of life? On the other hand – could I cause unforeseen harm if I had a termination?

Well, I researched some more, in the hope of finding something that would help me make the right decision. And I have to say – there’s some crazy, hateful people online. I came across some sort of religious community. A young girl had confided that she’d got pregnant after being raped. So, she’d had an abortion and had been consumed with guilt ever since.

Instead of being supportive, the religious nuts she’d confided in verbally attacked the poor girl. None of them seemed to be able to empathise with her – and they completely ignored the fact that she was raped.

If you ever find yourself in a similar situation, avoid these so called pro-lifers like the plague. Some of them seem more like pro-haters to me. Plenty of them had an opinion on how that poor girl would be seen in the eyes of God. I only wish those type would put their energy into helping people in tough situations, instead of infesting the world around them with hate.

Sometimes Choices Are Taken Away From You

In the end, I made the decision not to have a termination and hope for the best instead. But it still felt like something was wrong. For a couple of nights I had stomach pains that were so bad I couldn’t sleep. And on the third night – I had a miscarriage.

It wasn’t like I thought it would be. I guess I’d never really thought much about it at all. I figured I’d just carry on bleeding for a while. I had no idea that I would have contractions, or that it would go on for several hours. And what I really wasn’t prepared for, when the bulk of the fetal tissues came out, was having to make the decision to flush the toilet quickly, because one of my children needed to use the bathroom.

That was the hardest part and it felt awful. I know it’s something that happens to a lot of people – but it just seems such a horrible, undignified end to life. So I switched off – blocked it all out. I just didn’t want to talk about it at all – even to my husband.

In fact, I couldn’t even cry, until I wrote this, so I guess it’s not good to keep things inside. And blogging can be extremely therapeutic sometimes, as Darren Rowse showed, when he wrote about how he felt, after coming across two strangers discussing him on Twitter.

I guess some people might think it was wrong of me to write about something so personal online – but I really don’t give a shit. And if you’re a pro-lifer and you’re considering spreading some hate in the comments section – know that I can press a button that will send you to Internet hell.

This was a really bad time but you can learn a lot from terrible things:

Don’t rely on the Internet completely when you want to research facts.

If anyone is dishing out advice, learn to recognise their own biases and don’t let them influence you.

Don’t beat yourself up when you struggle to make ethical decisions. There isn’t always a clear right or wrong. Even when something does seem the right way to go – it could still have terrible consequences.

When shit happens and it’s not fixable, try not to plague yourself with guilt. But don’t keep things bottled up either.

Don’t try to compare your situation to the situation of others, when you’re trying to make a decision. Nobody is ever in the exact same place as you.

If folk send you mean messages when you’re going through a difficult time – understand that it’s not personal, they probably just have issues of their own.

PS: And to the asshole who left the comment saying you don’t know how I can sleep at night – as you can see, I don’t always do so. And your claim that reading my blog makes you stupid, is outrageous.

I’m sorry you are stupid enough to continue to read something that you believe makes you even more stupid. But trust me, I just don’t have the power to write anything that could increase, or decrease your intelligence.

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Comments

32 Responses to “There’s Always A New Kind Of Shit To Deal With”

  1. Kelly@SHE-POWER on February 18th, 2009 9:06 am

    Jesus, Cath I don’t know what to say. I am so sorry. Sorry you had to even contemplate making such a difficult decision. Sorry people felt they had the right to tell you you’re too old to have a child at 39. Sorry it all ended so tragically.

    I have never had a miscarriage, but my friends who have experienced this trauma have all reacted differently. Like you, I often withdraw when I am in real emotional or physical pain. Speaking jut seems to make it worse. i find it easier to sort through my own emotions first. I think any way you deal with it this is okay as long as it works for you.

    Obviously your instincts were strong that something was wrong and nature acted accordingly, but it still disturbs me that people scared you about the prospect of having a child at your age. I have so many friends who have had their first kids at 38 and older. One girlfriend is now pregnant with her second at 42. None of these people have had children with birth defects. So, yes I know the stats are not great the older we get, but it’s a general probability and these days a lot of people have perfectly healthy and able children near 40.

    But more than that, scaring people is such a negative, awful thing to do. It just makes me angry. And you’re right, researching on the internet will expose you to a lot of crap and a lot pf psychos. Everyone has an opinion on abortion, but no one’s opinions count except our own because other people don’t have to carry our child and then care for it for 18+ years. I am not sure I could personally terminate a pregnancy, but I absolutely defend any woman’s right to do so. No one has the right to tell a woman what to do with her body. As far as I am concerned until a fetus can survive without its mother, then its human rights can not come before hers.

    I applaud your courage for writing so honestly about something so personal. I hope putting the words down has helped you deal with your grief in some way.

    Take care of yourself.

    Love Kelly xx

    Kelly@SHE-POWER’s last blog post..Are you a Victim of Marketing, Image and the Great Media Lie?

  2. Robin on February 18th, 2009 11:39 am

    Oh Cath – please look after yourself – I had noticed you were not around and assumed you were taking a break – but nothing like this. Please don’t feel guilty about not being up with the latest goings on in the world! – there are plenty of other people to take care of these situations. I’m glad to see you are back “in the saddle”, but please look after yourself!

    love from Rob xx

    Robin’s last blog post..Finding Our True Selves

  3. Mike on February 18th, 2009 12:26 pm

    Catherine. Thanks so much for sharing that, and I agree that actually writing about something so personal can be extremely therapeutic – I sincerely hope it was so for you.
    I also hope you can put all this behind you now and move on.
    Best Wishes,
    Mike

    Mike’s last blog post..Why You Should Do It Now! – The Story of Boatman Pete

  4. Mike Goad on February 18th, 2009 1:05 pm

    I’m so sorry that you’ve had to go through this. Had the miscarriage not happened, I would have supported whatever decision you made. I don’t generally support abortion, except after carefully considering all the options, which I think you were doing.

    I hope you get past all of this soon and that you are back being well as soon as possible.

    Mike

    Mike Goad’s last blog post..Applying for Unemployment — The Rest of the Story

  5. Betsy Wuebker on February 18th, 2009 1:07 pm

    Oh, Cath. I wish we didn’t live a globe apart so I could rush right over and mother you for a bit. I am so very, very sorry. It seems as though this year has begun with loss for many of those whom I care about.

    My first pregnancy was at 33 – deemed an “elderly pregnancy” 21 years ago. WTF allrighty then. At 39, you should not have had anyone raise an eyebrow much less the type of scaremongering you experienced. I can so understand the mixed feelings you had when you received the news.

    When my son Geoff was born prematurely, we lost his twin, Evan, after 10 hours – we had to make the decision to let him go. We might have not done that and instead tiny little Evan would have endured incalculable suffering and pain, with such significant oxygen loss as to render him brain dead. It was a simple choice. But simple is not always easy, and this was not the introduction to parenthood I envisioned.

    Loss is loss, and you’re absolutely right that we should make our own ethical decisions as we are the ones who vividly live with them. Not some biased jerk know-it-all wanting to tell everyone what to do. We all have to answer to ourselves. The old “I look myself in the mirror” test has served me well through the years.

    That your instincts were on high alert is proof that we know ourselves and how our bodies work. I know that you will also honor the emotional process you’ll go through as time passes forward from this. I applaud your courage to write publicly about such a personal subject. And I want you to know how much we care for and appreciate you.

    With love,
    Betsy

    Betsy Wuebker’s last blog post..A LOVE LETTER TO OUR CHILDREN ON VALENTINE’S DAY

  6. Kathy | Virtual Impax on February 18th, 2009 3:01 pm

    Oh Cath!! I am SO sorry for your loss!!!

    My head is literally spinning right now. I’m remembering 23 years ago when I had a similar miscarriage – only I didn’t have other children in my house. It was my husband and I – and there was the “fetal tissue” – in the loo!!! I can totally relate to the trauma – both physically and emotionally!!!

    Please, please, please – be good to yourself right now. If I were there right now, I’d be tucking you into bed and making you warm cocoa – insisting that you take time to properly grieve this tragic loss.

    I believe that life is a miracle – and each life is truly a gift from God. With that said, I would NEVER EVER lash out or shame ANYONE who chose to end their pregnancy. This post just illustrates the heart wrenching process many women face when life takes a “less than story book” turn!!!

    It makes me so angry that some idiot would lash out at you in this moment!!! I want to shake him until his ears bleed!!!

    Thanks for sharing – because I know I wasn’t alone in wondering what was up on your end. I’m also sure this post will be a wonderful “gift” to others who are on a similar journey and searching for answers.

    You are one of the most brave souls I’ve had the pleasure of meeting on this wild and wooly ride known as Web 2.0. You are truly fearless – as demonstrated by this post.

    Sleep well my dear. You’ve earned it and you deserve it!!!

    Kathy | Virtual Impax’s last blog post..Social Media is Simply Communication on Steroids

  7. Jim Gaudet on February 18th, 2009 3:02 pm

    Cath, What can I say? I am so sorry that you had to go through something like this. I will keep you in my (positive) thoughts…

    This is just IMHO but I don’t think 39 is too old to have a baby.

    My favorite;
    “Don’t try to compare your situation to the situation of others, when you’re trying to make a decision. Nobody is ever in the exact same place as you.” — This was perfect.

    Jim Gaudet’s last blog post..How To Use Stumble a Post Correctly

  8. Joanna Young on February 18th, 2009 3:46 pm

    Cath, I’m so so sorry. Take care of yourself xxx

    Joanna Young’s last blog post..Why It’s Worth Sticking with Twitter

  9. Wendi Kelly-life's little Inspirations on February 18th, 2009 5:38 pm

    Cath,
    My heart just sunk to the floor reading this. Twice, I’ve been through the miscarriage nightmare, and once, was when I was carrying twins and the one stayed inside until the birth of my daughter.

    The loss of a child- at any stage- is horrific and please, allow yourself all the time you need to grieve and don’t let anyone make you think “you should be over it” until you are ready to move on.

    A mother’s instincts are strong and to be trusted. And everyone else in the world should just back off. I can’t tell you how angry it makes me that everyone feels they have a right to know what is best for you. OR to make judgements. Let them put one TOE in your shoes…

    And by the way…39 is not too old for ANYTHING.

    Sigh…I wish I could drop everything and come over to give you these hugs in person. Just know that you are not alone.

    Hugs.

    Wendi Kelly-life’s little Inspirations’s last blog post..When the Sun Won’t Come Out

  10. Davina on February 18th, 2009 6:52 pm

    Hi Cath. I’m so glad you’ve decided to share about this. It is important to receive support from people who care about YOU and not about their own moral values.

    I can’t believe people would lash out at you when you’ve been through so much. I don’t know how THEY sleep at night! Idiots!

    I think that is why people cut themselves off from the world when they’re in these situations. It’s difficult to make a decision when you’re being pelted from all directions with conflicting ideas and judgments. And like you say, everyone is in a different place.

    You’ve been in my thoughts for a while now. Please take care of yourself.

    Davina’s last blog post..The Morning Muse — Just Write

  11. Barbara Swafford on February 18th, 2009 7:30 pm

    Dear Catherine,

    As you know I’ve been worried about you for some time now, and your lack of posting and emails had me concerned. I knew you were sick, but had no idea of what all you were going through. My heart goes out to you and I grieve for your loss.

    Like others have said, if we weren’t so far away, I would also be there mothering you, holding your hand and being an ear if you wanted to talk.

    I will keep you in my prayers.

    (((Hugs)))

    Barbara

    Barbara Swafford’s last blog post..Questioning Life & Blogging About It

  12. Valerie on February 18th, 2009 8:56 pm

    Cath,

    I’m so sorry to learn about your miscarriage. It’s never easy, especially when there are difficult decisions to make. I suffered a similar miscarriage at home in the late 70′s and you are right, it is difficult to make that flush.

    Any way, I’m glad you’re doing better. I hope you have had a good cry with Stuart, I’m sure he’s sad, confused and doesn’t really know what to say or do.

    I’ll add you and Stuart to my Monday Morning Prayer list.

    Valerie’s last blog post..Celebrate Your Ministry Volunteers

  13. Kim Woodbridge on February 18th, 2009 9:43 pm

    Hi Cath – I’m so sorry about everything you have been going through. It’s so hard to think about all the possibilities and choices and agonizing over doing the right thing. I also became pregnant at 39 – the first thing the doctor did was put AMA in huge letters at the top of the chart. I asked what that was and they said Advanced Maternal Age – they act like 35 is this magical threshold and that everything changes drastically at that point. I also lost the child and was devastated – I didn’t even really want another one but because of my age I felt like it was my last chance. Ultimately, it was for the best because my marriage fell apart a couple of months later but it was one of the hardest things I’ve had to deal with.

    I hope you are starting to feel better and thank you for sharing this. I know I was worried about you a little but I just thought you had been sick and that you were busy.

    Thinking of you …

    Kim Woodbridge’s last blog post..2 Online Resume and Portfolio Builders

  14. Annie Anderson on February 18th, 2009 10:38 pm

    Cath! Oh my goodness! I’m sorry for your loss.

    You’re about the 4th person I’ve heard of late suffering a miscarriage. Having had one myself, I can totally relate to how you’re feeling. I didn’t have a blog back then but I wish I did. Being able to write out ones feelings and thoughts in such circumstances is often very healing.

    I wish you well! Take care of yourself and like you said, f**** the naysayers and other haters.

    {{Hugs!}}

    ~ Annie

    Annie Anderson’s last blog post..Random monday ramblings

  15. John Hoff on February 19th, 2009 2:41 am

    Oh Cath, that really sucks. I’m really sorry to hear all this. Right now my cousin is going through something similar. She’s I think 38 and is pregnant and has been bleeding for the last couple of weeks. They’re doing tests now to see if she miscarried. I hope you can see in your comment section here how much impact you have made on all of us.

    We are all here for you and hold you in our prayers.

    And as for the PS you wrote at the bottom – that’s one of the reasons you’re so cool. I love how you don’t take any shit from anyone. Your comment makes perfect sense to me. What a jerk. You rock!

  16. Erica Douglass on February 19th, 2009 4:28 am

    Hi Cath,

    Thank you for writing and being brave enough to share this with the world. There are always haters, but fortunately we own the delete buttons. ;)

    I hope you feel better soon — I’ve missed your blog posts.

    -Erica

    Erica Douglass’s last blog post..How To Negotiate Your Phone and Cable Bill and Save Thousands of Dollars

  17. Lillie Ammann on February 19th, 2009 7:25 am

    Cath,

    Hugs and sympathy and concern coming your way. Please take care of yourself. I hope you can take a little comfort in all the love shown to you in these comments.

    Lillie Ammann’s last blog post..By: 12 Days Left to Join the WoBM Anniversary Contest

  18. Tom Volkar / Delightful Work on February 19th, 2009 12:21 pm

    “I’m sorry you are stupid enough to continue to read something that you believe makes you even more stupid.”

    Cath it’s good to see you haven’t lost your spunk. That line just made me laugh out loud. Hang in there. It’s obvious that you are looking at what you need to see. We are always the best judge of what’s right for us.

    Tom Volkar / Delightful Work’s last blog post..Fearless Living

  19. Natural on February 21st, 2009 8:21 pm

    oh gosh cath, i was both elated and sad for you all in just a few minutes. i’m so sorry to read about your miscarriage – the lost of life no matter what the gestation or age is tough to deal with.

    the information on the web can scare you to death. i always think i have everything i read, so i try not to do to much research on any medical problems i may be having.

    sending you my prayers from new jersey.

    Natural’s last blog post..Answer: A River Runs Through It

  20. Steve Errey - The Confidence Guy on February 22nd, 2009 2:39 pm

    Cath, I can’t imagine what this has all been like for you. I’m picturing myself giving you a big, old fashioned hug right now.

    I think your summary of what you’ve learned is nothing short of miraculous, and shows how rounded and value-led you are, way deep down.

    Some important lessons for everyone, but don’t feel like you have to be mature or act reasonably. What happened is painful and wrenching, and you’re allowed to be unreasonable about it.

    Take care of you.

    Steve Errey – The Confidence Guy’s last blog post..Confidence Interview – James Chartrand of Men with Pens

  21. cathlawson on February 23rd, 2009 12:27 am

    Thanks everyone – your kind words have helped a lot.

    @Kelly – I was thinking about advice you gave me in the past when I was going through this and it really helped.

    @Robin – Thank you. I didn’t read anything for ages and I was stunned when I heard about what was happening in your part of the world.

    @Mike – Thanks. I hope so too. I actually started thinking about work today, so that is a good sign.

    @MikeG – Thanks. I did spend a long time considering the options but it’s so hard when you don’t know what the exact outcome is going to be.

    @Betsy – Thank you. That must have been one of the toughest decisions you had to make. Your post about your son really helped – what you said about babies brains being able to repair themselves.

    @Kathy – thanks. I kind of felt sorry for that guy at first. But I have no idea what he could have read that he thought would make him more stupid.

    The flushing thing is horrid isn’t it – and you have all kinds of bad thoughts after you’ve done it.

    @Jim – thanks. Re – the age thing, I wasnt sure at first but it seems like 39 really isn’t old at all.

    @Joanna – thanks. I will.

    @Wendi – Thanks. That must have been hard. I guess you must have been devastated by the loss of one twin but relieved at the survival of the other at the same time.

    @Davina – Thank you. Re – folk lashing out – it’s difficult to deal with. I guess we don’t always know what they’re going through themselves at the time they do stuff like that.

    @Barbara – Thank you. I knew you and others were worried and it seemed easier to write about it this way.

    @Valerie – Thanks. We’ve both found it difficult to talk about it much. But he’s read this thread, which seems to have helped him and he really appreciated your kind words.

    @Kim – thank you. It must have been tough to deal with losing the baby and also your marriage falling apart within two months.

    @Annie – It seems to be thing lots of people go through. I wish the hospital would give out the fact sheets once you discover you are pregnant, rather than after. It would make things a whole lot easier.

    @John – Thank you. I hope your cousin is coping ok. I read that some people can bleed and the baby doesn’t always die, so maybe there is some hope for her.

    @Erica – Thanks. I’ve missed reading your stuff too.

    @Lillie – Thank you. All these comments have helped more than words can say.

    @Tom – Thanks. I couldn’t resist doing the PS. I’ve received some odd comments but the one that guy left was definitely the craziest.

    @Valerie – Thank you. I think I will avoid using the web to research anything medical in the future too.

    @Steve – Thanks. I know what you mean. Writing this and thinking it through was not so bad. But in real life, I feel like I’ve bottled it up so much that I might explode.

  22. Vered - MomGrind on February 23rd, 2009 3:49 am

    I’m glad the blog is back up so that I can leave a comment.

    I already emailed you, but I’ll say it here too: I am so very sorry about your miscarriage. Obviously there’s nothing I can do to help, but I want you to know that I’m thinking about you and that I care.

    I completely agree about the pro-life movement. I usually call them “anti women” or “anti-choice”. The term “pro-life” is misleading.

    HUGS.

    Vered – MomGrind’s last blog post..The Joys Of Parenthood

  23. Barbara Ling, Virtual Coach on February 23rd, 2009 12:56 pm

    OMG what a horrible experience! I so totally agree with you NOT to venture to communities that are judgmental – it’s brutalizing to the extreme.

    My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage and yes, I went thru the same thing you did – contractions and *alot* of blood. Make sure you check your iron levels – I lost so much blood I became anemic. Took me several weeks to recover from that.

    I made peace with myself about it all by realizing that the vast majority of miscarriages happen because of an “incompatibility with life” defect (I later learned that that miscarriage had Turners Syndrome).

    Take good good good care of yourself and honor yourself. You deserve it.

    Hugs,

    Barbara

    Barbara Ling, Virtual Coach’s last blog post..RANT – When bloggers are PAINFULLY clueless

  24. cathlawson on February 23rd, 2009 7:23 pm

    Hi Vered – Thank you – I got your email and I really appreciated it. The blog was down but paypal wouldn’t accept my card. The bank blamed paypal but I have to say, I’ve had more bad experiences with banks than with paypal.

    I know what you mean re: the so called Pro-Life people. They do seem to be anti-life because they’re saying, you can have a life – but you’re not allowed to make your own choices.

    Hi Barbara – Thanks. It seems like this has happened to many people. I didn’t think about iron levels. I’ve been exhausted and sleeping way to much so I guess it’s worth checking that out.

    I’m guessing you’re spot on when you mention “incompatibility with life” issues. I heard that a lot of people take the fetus in for tests and I can see how that could be worthwhile.

    I do think the medication I was taking caused this but I guess I will never know.

  25. Debbie Yost on February 23rd, 2009 10:46 pm

    Cath,
    This story made me cry. I’m so sorry you had to go through all this. I’m sorry you couldn’t find the support you needed when you needed it. I’m frustrated at the doctors and websites for scaring you and for only sharing the negative side of Down syndrome. You aren’t too old, necessarily to have children and you are younger than me, if that helps! I’m sorry those “Christian” people felt it was their place to judge and condemn. Only God has that authority and I believe that is part of the reason abortion is high even if they don’t. I have seen the fear of not knowing any other answer but abortion and the guilt of dealing with it the rest of your life. Unless a person is in that position, they cannot say how they would handle it. They may hope, but they cannot know for a fact!

    But, mostly I’m sorry you lost your child. I hope you will find peace. I know this was not planned and you may not plan on having another, but I hope you eventually find peace in your loss and support from your family.

    I also hope nothing I’ve said has upset you. It wasn’t meant to, but it is difficult to find the right words in situations like this. I’m glad you are back sharing your wisdom with us. **Hugs**

    Debbie Yost’s last blog post..I’m Famous!

  26. wilhb81 on February 24th, 2009 5:32 am

    I’m 100% agreed with your opinions, Cath. Life is full with unexpected S**t and we should brace ourselves to deal with it, not to runaway from it!

    wilhb81′s last blog post..The Useful Business Tips 18: The 5 Great Tips For Training Within Your Budget!

  27. Cath Lawson on February 24th, 2009 11:58 am

    Hi Debbie – Thank you. I was thinking of you when all this happened – and thanks to you, I also knew some of the positive side to Downs Syndrome.

    I guess it was the medication I was taking that caused me the most worries. And it was impossible to get hold of the facts, as the only testing was done on non-human animals, which is a good thing. I’d hate to think the drug companies could get away with doing those tests on pregnant women.

    Re: The age thing. I guess that many of the generation above me had children far too young. Many that I have spoken to have said that getting birth control from the doctor was impossible without parental permission. So I guess they see my age as “too old” based on their own experiences.

  28. Cath Lawson on February 24th, 2009 11:59 am

    Hi Wilhb – I agree. Trouble is, it’s almost always the unexpected shit that actually happens.

  29. Ruth on February 25th, 2009 7:33 pm

    Hi Cath,

    I’ve been trying to think of something to say but there’s really nothing. My thoughts are with you, though.

    Speaking of people and shit…people are much crueler online when they don’t have to face up to the consequences of what they say. It’s scary that being online brings out a bit of that in all of us.

    Ruth’s last blog post..Those Six Magic Words

  30. cathlawson on February 25th, 2009 8:04 pm

    Hi Ruth – Thank you. I know what you mean re: people online. Lots of folk, me included have said things on Twitter, after a couple of drinks that we wouldn’t dream of saying in person. And you’re right – it is scary.

  31. MoDLin on February 25th, 2009 10:01 pm

    Cath, you are incredibly generous to share this with all of us. I’m truly sorry you had to experience what you did. What a roller coaster ride you were on. Your take home points from this are honest, poignant and right on target. I’m thinking of you and wishing you some peace right now.

    MoDLin’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday

  32. cathlawson on February 27th, 2009 4:21 pm

    Hi MoDLin – Thank you. I’m feeling a whole heap better right now and all the messages I’ve received have helped tremendously.

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