Have You Got A Big Mouth?
October 18, 2007
Have you got a huge mouth. I have - I’ll admit it. When I see someone being treated unfairly, or harmed in anyway, I have to speak up. And I hate being in a situation where I’m forced to bite my tongue.
And I’ve had to keep my mouth shut several times over the years. Many times during my nurse training, I was appalled by some of the practices I saw. But, I was advised by others to keep my mouth shut until I was in a position to change things.
Let me tell you, it’s tough to keep your mouth shut when you see a nurse slap an elderly patient, or refuse to take them to the loo when they ask, because they’re too bone idle.
I had to keep my mouth shut on several occasions when I was a franchisee too, because of threats against me. I just wanted to keep myself to myself until I’d found a buyer for my business. But, it is really difficult to sit there listening to some incompetent t..t brag about how himself and an arrogant 28 stone a..hole managed to force a struggling franchisee to leave the system. Then go on to describe how the two of them then went for a few pints afterwards to celebrate - in work time of course.
Don’t you just feel like slapping people like that? The poor guy probably lost a heap of money, and may even have gone bankrupt afterwards. But those two obviously don’t believe in karma. And neither of them would be capable of running a business either.
The great news is, when you’re an entrepreneur, it doesn’t matter if you have a mouth the size of Bermuda. Because you can and should use it to help improve the world, and speak out against any injustices.
Many entrepreneurs have done this, and Anita Roddick is a great example. She used her company to campaign against injustices - even when they weren’t related to her own industry. She campaigned against the gulf war. And she raised awareness of unfair trade, and slave labour and campaigned against those practices too.
But, you don’t have to wait until you have heaps of time and money to begin making a small difference in the world. I used to think you did, but there’s a lot you can do right now.
And you don’t have to wait until you have much cash to make a start. Tim Ferris wrote a great post on things you can do to help improve the world right now and you can read it here.
There are many small things you can do to make a difference. For example if you’re interested in helping a third world entrepreneur, you can loan someone £25 here.
And once your business becomes established you can use it to raise awareness of issues that are important to you. Doing this has always been important to me. And there’s a lot of things I want to change in this world so watch this space.
Think about the changes you would like to see in the world, then make plans to use your business as a vehicle to make those changes. And don’t worry if you offend some people, as they’re probably not the type of people you would want to deal with anyway.
Having a business that only has financial goals is pointless. I speak to a lot of people who want to start a business, and their only goal is to make a lot of money. But money alone will never make you happy.
The most successful people I know have been passionate about improving the world. And if they can do it so can you.
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It is important to speak out against unfair treatment. I was at a networking function a few years back. And someone I was speaking to had just had a telephone system put in and was happy with the job.
This other guy, who also installs telephone systems immediately started slagging off the other company.
Saying they were a tip off!
I couldn’t believe it and said so. In fact I even reported the guy to the people ran the networking events saying something like:
1) There’s nothing to gain because the guy already had the system so why slag them off
2) The client has already said he was happy, so why make him unhappy with his purchase?
3) It’s not good etiquette or business practice to slag off a rival
4) And while this may not seem like any of my business, the two telecoms companies were in different networking groups of the same organisation and had signed up to a code of ethics - so it was a breach
Shortly afterwards I got a really nasty phone call form the guy after the powers that be had rapped him on the knuckles. Threatening too “I can’t wait to see you next time you’re out having a pint.”
Absolutely ludicrous behaviour. But I’d do the same again.
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Depending on your situation, sometime it is best to not say anything, but speaking does have its advantage and disadvantage.
It certainly is best to listen more than talk for me. People who are leader seem to talk a LOT more in my opinion.
Hi Catherine,
I sure enjoyed your post, and your comment section.
It almost sounds like you have dealt with a lot of male chauvinists. We see that to some degree in our business as it’s male orientated (construction). Funny thing though, when we have a new client call, if they won’t give me the information over the phone, and get arrogant, and insist they talk to my husband. When I give my husband the message and tell him how they ”acted”, he says, “well, if they treated you that way over the phone, I’m not even calling them back”. And he won’t. It might cause us a job, but won’t tolerate someone disrespecting me.
What you experienced while nursing, must have been unbearable to see, and have to keep your mouth shut. That would absolutely kill me to see someone getting slapped around…especially an elderly person.
I have a feeling, Catherine, you will definitely leave a mark on this world. You go, girl
Now only in business, but with blogs, we can help others. We can steer them in the right direction, and if they ask, answer their questions.
I didn’t realise you were in construction - my parents are too.
It sounds like you have similar problems to me with chauvenists on the phone. We usually tell them where to go and don’t deal with them.
Often I wish I’d picked a different industry - this one is plumbing and the last was fire and flood restoration. But I’ve heard that even the cosmetics industry is dominated by men.
Re: The patient I saw getting slapped. It was hard and although I didn’t report it there was a v happy outcome. I told the nurse that if she did it again I would slap her.
This might have cause animosity. But, she began asking my advice re dealing with patients all the time. And she really began to improve. She got really excited that she’d found new ways to deal with difficult patients.
A woman who used to hurl her medication across the room suddenly began taking it with no complaints.
The nurse began to look happier in her job. It was an amazing transformation and I never saw her slap a patient again.
Cath,
At the risk of sounding politically incorrect - against men - they just don’t get it.
And I may create some controversy by some of my experiences and observations, but what the hell!
I suspect there are several gender differences and approaches to everything in life - both work and home.
And both have strengths and weaknesses, pros and cons.
One common strength (a common excuse too from the male department!) is multi-tasking. But men can multi-task. I suspect women are wired better though to do this and more commonly are more proficient.
My personal opinion is that more often, women make better managers and business owners. I’m not saying men are a poor choice, but in my experience, I see more empathy and a better ability to manage several things at once.
I see no differences in entrepreneurial qualities between both genders.
We can all dream and see possibilities. I suspect men can be marginally less risk-averse.
But that gets us into trouble too!
I could go on, and get myself into even more trouble, so I’d better clam up.
The point is, balance is the key. Does it really matter? I think not.
Except where people judge or make business decisions on the basis of gender.
You do sadly still see it in terms of male chauvinism.
Equally though, I have seen female business-people who are resistant to dealing with males! But less commonly.
There are “old boys clubs” and male-dominated networking fraternities. But decreasingly so, and barriers are being broken down.
And there are also an increasing number of women-only networking clubs, associations etc. In fact, I once joined one as the sole male member.
Largely because I don’t believe in male-only envrionments and feel as though emerging elitism is something we should all challenge and not accept.
And nobody should tolerate the experiences of both Cath and Barbara. There is simply no excuse for any sort of judgement on the basis of gender.
Political Correctness is something to be challenged. If we suppress commentary on these increasingly sensitive issues, we can become suppressed and stagnant ourselves. Spending too much time worrying about how to carefully phrase a comment or sentence, prevents freedom of speech.
And no, I am not advocating the tolerance of offensive or destructive behaviour.
Having a joke in an office about a bloke’s inability to do more than one thing should be allowed. I am sure I’ve read that it’s kind of biologically true. If we can’t tease each other about differences, then that’s political correctness gone too far.
Personal teasing is a different matter altogether. Or slapping someone!
Speaking up in person is something I need to work on. I can be social when needed, but my business efforts would certainly benefit by increased self-promotion.
Ian (in comments above) is very shy and I bet he would give you a load of tips. Is it ok to pass him your email address?
By the way, I really hate calling you modern worker - it’s so impersonal, but you don’t have your own name on your blog. Do you have to keep your own name quiet? If so, can I call you a pseudonym name, or should we just simply call you MW?
Often - I’ve found that women can be more sexist than men, and many of them seem to have a problem with seeing another woman doing well.
It is true - barriers are coming down gradually. I think business is changing in general, and eventually the stuffed suit brigade will be a thing of the past.
Modern employers are beginning to promote staff who are enthusiastic and are making a contribution to the growth of the company, whereas at one time, all you had to do was turn up at work every day for years on end. Also, the newer companies are more inclined to employ people based on what they can do, as opposed to who they know, or what school they went to.
Hello Catherine,
I see very intense and great discussion. I don’t see so much quality discussion in the comment section in other blogs.
I really enjoyed the discussion about male chauvinism. Unfortunately, there’s male chauvinism, and then, racism still existing in the business world. In the company I worked in the past, I really never had colleagues who are African American. The company may say there was no applicant, and I truly doubt it. I have a friend who has been struggling throughout his career because of his name that shows his race. One time, the company distributed a video to educate employees on ethics and sexual harassment, and the video was so inappropriate (the demonstration of what is sexual harassment was just too much, I felt that was the sexual harassment), and I complained to just get myself into a trouble. All these things happen….
I do belong to a few women communities, and I do agree we can be bad as well or worse. After getting a bit jaded, we start discriminating against men, while that should not be the point.
But after all, we can all figure out how. And it is great to be an entrepreneur and express our opinions. As an entrepreneur, we have customers who would value us, and we can set our own rules that are fair and positive. Well, there may be bad customers, but they are losing the opportunities to get our great services. And most customers do business, because of our services, not because we are men or women or so on.
And in reality, 95% of population do not mean badly. They actually mean well, and they are also struggling in their own situations. And they like people who actually express what is fair.
Your story of elderly patients is heart-breaking. I have been studying the healthcare industry for a while, and particularly in the US, we have so many sad stories. And sometimes, physicians and nurses just can not help, because they are also swimming in the environment that are so difficult for them to manage, due to complex insurance, reimbursement cut, increasing administrative works, etc. I am hoping to find a way to provide some sorts of automated resource supports to these care-providers.
In the end, we can not spend our time on negativity in this world. There’s always an opportunity to create a positive when we see something negative, I think.
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