10 Weird Or Annoying Types Of Customer
March 28, 2008
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I’ve had the pleasure of dealing with all sorts of weird and annoying customers over the years. Here’s ten that made me wish it was perfectly legal to shoot annoying people:
The Landlord From Hell: I’ve worked on a few jobs where the customers needed work done because their property was vandalised by tenants. And I have to say that every single one of them probably deserved it.
The Persistent Caller: Some customers will call you persistently on a Sunday, at 5am, or late in the evening with non-urgent queries. I don’t know if they’re just lonely, awkward, or they really like speaking to me. But some people just don’t seem to grasp the concept of 24 hour EMERGENCY service.
The Sexual Predator: These folk range from sad to scary. They’ll answer their door half naked, ask you to stay for dinner, put false tan on their legs while they’re speaking to you and try to insist that they won’t have anyone but you for follow up appointments. Do yourself a favour, if this happens to you and send someone else next time - preferably someone you don’t like.
The Mean B..tards: Some customers complain because they’re stressed and they’re having a bad day. But the ones who whinge and moan during every single phone call and visit usually do it because they’re mean b..tards. If you can’t sack them just grit your teeth. And pray for that shooting law to come into effect.
The Optimists: It’s sometimes difficult to gage the extent of a customer’s problem over the phone. Some of them will say there’s no rush, and there’s little damage to their property. So you leave it a couple of days, at their request and arrive to find that their house is practically falling down.
The Drunk Callers: Customers will sometimes call when they’ve been drinking. I had one guy who called at about 8 in the evening for several days in a row. He always sounded absolutely hammered and each time he was calling to moan about a small problem that had already been rectified a week ago. The trouble was he was so plastered, he appeared to forget that he’d already called the night before - and the night before that.
The Idiots: Customers who set their homes on fire, or cause other types of havoc, through some stupid act of their own will often treat you as though you personally torched their home. Just ignore them - they obviously can’t help being stupid.
The Rip Off Merchants: If you go out of your way to give extra help to customers and do additional work for them for free, they’ll often see you as a soft touch and try to rip you off - even little old ladies. Here’s a story about a little old lady who tried to rip me off: How To Shoot Your Customers Part 3 - The Scammer.
The Compensation Fruitcakes: I had a customer complain that one of my machines had eaten not only her nightdress, but her hair too. She was deeply disappointed when I pointed out that the machine only blew out air, it didn’t actually suck anything up. And if she had managed to somehow stick her head in it - it would have scalped her.
And I had another job where the house had suffered such extensive fire damage that half of the roof and upstairs walls were missing. The fire brigade then soaked the property and the loss adjuster in charge of the job claimed that it was somehow our fault that some of the plaster was coming off the walls.
Folks Who Don’t Remove Personal Stuff From Drawers: If your belongings need to be put into storage, you’d normal pack any really personal, or hugely embarrassing items yourself wouldn’t you? Some people don’t and it’s difficult to look them in the eye when you know exactly what they get up to when they go to bed at night.
* Special Mention: I couldn’t publish this post without personally naming the worst customers I’ve ever had - Steve Dolman of Adjusting Associates in Caerphilly and Arab German Insurance. They owe me over £30,000 ($60,000) for work we began in 2004. Arab German Insurance are thieves, who hit the headlines when they tried to avoid paying many people and Steve Dolman is a gobshite who changes his story every time he opens his mouth.
If you ever get a customer like this do what I’m in the process of doing - take them to the cleaners and make sure nobody else gets stung by them.
Have you met any weird or annoying customers? Do you think their should be an annoying customer blacklist? And how do you think we should punish persistent offenders?
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13 Responses to “10 Weird Or Annoying Types Of Customer”
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Alot of it is down to perception. I lost a customer yesterday. Someone who had been a customer for 6 years and got on great with.
They moved because of a third party - we had recommended a supplier to buy PCs from. And 99% of the transactions we have had with this supplier have been fine for our clients - and we’d had lots of compliments.
But because they got one order wrong, our client, give them their due, rang to say that they were going to choose another supplier.
Not because of anything we had done, but because they couldn’t get everything they need under one roof.
That hurt. Alot.
Computer hardware margins are so low it is virtually impossible to make enough to pay a fraction of the wage of the people administering the purchasing/deliveries/returns.
If we went back to supplying - at even break-even to make sure the client gets the service under one roof - the majority would complain about the prices because they can get it cheaper elsewhere.
It’s often difficult to meet client expectations for a fair price.
Despite the fact it was a fluke transaction for just 4 PCs which all went wrong, I’m still seeing the MD of our supplier to see if we can learn any lessons and avoid any such recurrence.
But to be fair, perfection is virtually impossible.
I loved the drunk client who kept calling forgetting the problem was fixed!
I’d love to reveal some of our stories, but I fear legal recrimination because the Internet is an increasingly small place!
Ian Denny’s last blog post..Sky TV: Bad Customer Service Or Theft?
The AGI home page says “compay profile” and “financail statment.” I wonder if sloppiness on a website can be used to predict bad customers.
Hunter Nuttall’s last blog post..The Difference Between The Dream World And The Real World
Hi Ian - you should share. If you’re not using names it doesn’t matter and even if you do, folks can’t get away with suing you if you’re telling the truth. They have to prove you’re not. Obviously though - a lot of your customers are solicitors, so don’t take my word for it.
I’d already written the post and decided to add the gobshite at the end following a phone conversation I had with him yesterday. Now, I would love for him to try to sue me. He got annoyed on the phone when i called him a bullshitter, so I had to think of another word which would piss him off just as much!
Mind you, most of these are customers from my last business. The drunk guy was a real prat. There was just me on my own living with the kids at the time and I wasn’t getting home from work until about 7pm. I’d be trying to make myself some dinner and spend some time with the kids and he’d ring.
All he was ringing for was because the admin girl had booked his appointment in for the wrong day. We’d apologised profusely - but he kept ringing for days after. I don’t know what more he expected me to do, as he wasn’t even paying for our services - it was an insurance job. Looking back - I have to wonder if she really did book him in for the wrong day, as he just wasn’t on this planet.
Well spotted Hunter - I wish I’d checked them out a long time ago - they don’t really sound very professional.
Their language is a bit dodgy too. They appear to speak perfect English when we call their Jordan office - but as soon as they realise it’s us - they can’t speak English anymore.
You put me in mind of some of our worst tenants at my old property management job.
The tenant who complains that her office is too hot in the mornings. So she calls the guys to fix it. Then it’s too cold. Maybe because she walks up 12 flights of stairs (good for her!!) and doesn’t see a correlation with feeling hot.
Or the tenant who calls up and demands a full explanation of how we managed to lower their refund (they overpaid us) of $10,000 to $3,500. We told him that maybe if they’d paid the $6,500 in unpaid overdue invoices we wouldn’t have had to deduct it out of the refund. He was so accusatory….ugh.
Same guy called up to ask why there were homeless people in their space. Um, actually those are construction workers and that’s not your space. “No, sir, that space has never been leased to your company. There’s another tenant moving in and those are their workers. Yes I’m positive it’s never been leased to you. No, I’m sure they’re not homeless, that pile of coats is because there aren’t any coat racks in the construction area. Yes I can send an engineer just to check.”
Actually, that guy called a lot. I’m glad that I never have to see him again.
You’re preaching to the choir girlfriend! Let’s add to the list “Customers who don’t read instructions.” I write software for the pharma industry. With each release, I painstakingly create instructions covering all the new and exciting functionality, as well as how to install the software. It never fails that the customer asks “What’s in this release?” In the beginning, I’m nice, but eventually after being asked the same question over and over, you just have to say “That would be covered in the release notes!” Today, I receive a “Where are the release notes?’”question - the answer of course was “Those would be on the CD I gave you.”
Brad Brown’s last blog post..Forty-Nine Short Book Reviews
Just one. Client who wanted new PCs installing about 7 years ago. The description included video cards. He rang up absolutely furious with us. How dare we even suggest video cards - were we idiots? His staff had to get on with their work, if the PCs had video cards, they would just watch TV programmes all day.
This was back in the days when graphics cards and video cards were terms used interchangeably.
He’s actually a great client now. He knows what a video/graphic card does. And he actually knows a bit about PCs and servers now.
I am pleased to say the advice and infrastructure we’ve given him has helped his company grow and open another IT-connected branch in another city.
And he knows and ttrusts our advice now.
We just need to make sure YouTube is barred from his network!
Ian Denny’s last blog post..Sky TV: Bad Customer Service Or Theft?
Hi Catherine,
I absolutely love your stories. You need to write a “comedy” business book.
I can’t think of any stories that top yours, but if one comes to mind, I’ll be back.
Barbara Swafford’s last blog post..If One Is Good, Two Is Better
OMG Mrs M - that is so funny. I don’t know what is worse - that he didn’t know he wasn’t renting that part of the building, or that he thought the construction workers were homeless people. Some people are just too weird.
Hi Brad - that must have been a real pain. I bet you were left wondering why you bothered in the first place.
LOL Ian - I know someone just like that, but I won’t mention any names. You must have had weirder customers than that though - you’re in IT!
Hi Barbara - Thank you. I don’t know if I could pull it off. Comedy is meant to be the hardest thing to write. I think I’m just fortunate, or unfortunate, depending on which way you look at it to have met so many weird and wonderful people over the years.
Cath Lawson’s last blog post..10 Weird Or Annoying Types Of Customer
As a daycare provider I have had some wonderful clients, but I’ve had some really horrible ones, too. I’ve been considering writing a post about the worst client I ever had. It got so bad that my Christmas was ruined and I almost had to consider going to a doctor for depression. Thankfully, my husband was patient and supportive and helped me work through all the trauma she caused in my life. She is the only person I executed my right to terminate service. After she left me she did the same thing to the next provider because that provider called me. I don’t know what’s happened to her recently, but I am soooo glad to have her out of my life.
Debbie Yost’s last blog post..Parenting Blunders
How awful Debbie - customers like that deserve to be slapped. I don’t blame you for sacking her. Hopefully if you get another one like that, you’ll get shot of them faster next time.
Well we’ve had worse clients. Certifiable lunatics. The most common problem which we hate dealing with becuase it’s so embarassing and messy is people getting caught downloading porn.
Increasingly we’re having to install more sophisticated monitoring software becase the small business owner has to protect themselves from potential employment tribunals. It’s all cost - lawyers to change employment contracts and produce policies, expensive software, and a slight deterioration in the freedom that often helps in small businesses.
Ian Denny’s last blog post..You Are The Best - So Why Don’t New Clients Beat Down Your Door?
OMG Ian - I never thought about that. It must be embarrassing because if you find porn I guess you won’t know if it was the employees or the owner.
We once found porn on a work computer and I didn’t know if my ex husband had downloaded it or someone who worked for me. In the end I changed contracts so that any unauthorised Internet use could lead to instant dismissal and porn downloads were considered gross misconduct.
Even the employment contract folk thought I was being harsh - but to me, discovering porn on one of my work computers was worse than a member of staff swearing at me.
They did suggest just allowing Internet access at lunchtimes, but who really wants to commit themselves to monitoring when the Internet was used, all the time?