Is Fear Stunting Your Growth?
March 31, 2008
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When we avoid trying different things, or accepting new challenges, in life or business, it is often due to fear of the unknown. But, if we don’t try new things, we don’t push beyond our comfort zone and we get stuck in a rut. It might be a comfortable rut, but it’s still a rut.
I’ll be the first to admit that the fear of trying something new bounces back at me time after time. For example, two of my favourite bloggers have asked me to guest post for them - Albert of Urban Monk and Kelly of She-Power. I was ecstatic that they asked me, as they both have brilliant blogs and I have a great deal of interest in the topics they cover.
But after the initial excitement, the doubts began to infest my mind. What if I make a hash of this? What if I write an awful guest post and readers fall out of love with these wonderful blogs because of me?
Then my imagination began to run away with me and I started seeing the negative comments and awful hate emails coming my way after writing the said terrible posts.
Almost as soon as the doubts began to creep in, I was able to stop myself. I knew that I’d been at this particular crossroads many times and I’d never been flattened by a truck. So why am I having such negative thoughts to begin with? Am I not learning from past experience?
The simple truth is - I don’t challenge myself regularly enough. According to Brian Tracey, in his book - Million Dollar Habits, we should try to do one new thing which makes us feel slightly uncomfortable everyday. This helps us grow as a person and gives us more confidence as we try new things.
Small things that make us “feel slightly uncomfortable” on a daily basis sounds a whole lot better than doing something death defying that scares us half to death each month doesn’t it? But - how on earth are you supposed to come up with a new challenge for every day of the year?
I think the answer is to make a list of all the things you’d like to do - things that would be beneficial to you, if you didn’t procrastinate on them.
And I’m guessing it would be best to prepare these lists a week in advance. Planning a whole year in advance would be fruitless. As you push yourself beyond your comfort zone, the things you avoid doing now may be no trouble to you at all in six months time. In fact, if you stick to your daily challenges, your goals will probably be a whole lot bolder by this time next year.
I’m going to begin the challenge this week - I’ll add something that makes me feel slightly uncomfortable to my to do list on a daily basis and measure my progress over a year. Are you willing to stretch yourself? Are you going to try this too? Or do you have other methods for reaching beyond your comfort zone that you would like to share?
In the near future, I’ll be writing more on overcoming fear and helping you achieve your goals. If you enjoyed this post, click here to subscribe in a reader and make sure you don’t miss it.
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14 Responses to “Is Fear Stunting Your Growth?”
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Cath
Great post. Fear stops all of us at one time or another. I wrote about my own paralysis over at Mark’s http://www.mytropicalescape.com/2008/03/27/anywired-middlebrook-make-money-online-challenge-part1/ and even saying it out loud felt scary, like it’s humiliating to be afraid of anything. But the truth is, we all are.
Fear is a healthy emotion in that it guides us away from potentially dangerous situations and it’s also valuable in helping us identify limiting beliefs we hold onto about ourselves.
The key is to notice your fear and discomfort and ask yourself whether you want to listen to it. Sometimes it will be a good idea, other times you might just wonder why there is anything to be afraid of at all.
And Cath, you couldn’t stuff up a post. It’s impossible. You’re a wonderful writer.
I went through a similar agony when I first had to come up with an idea for my guest post at http://zenhabits.net. I swear I felt sick. On one hand I was thrilled Leo asked me, and on the other hand I wondered how I’d cope with the pressure. But everything went fine, as it will do for you.
Can’t wait to see what you’ve got for me (when you’re ready - no pushing!).
Kelly Rigby@ SHE-POWER’s last blog post..SHE-POWER Changes: My World is in Your Hands
Cath - great post today, and good luck with your challenges this week.
I know you can and will do it. Many times I think we don’t fear the failure. We fear the success. What will happen to me if I *do* accomplish this goal? It still comes down to our “comfort zone”.
I’ll join you, in pushing myself this year - it helps to know someone else is also doing it.
Brett Legree’s last blog post..why six weeks.
Cath, I’ve written before about how scary guest posting can be. It surprises me each time I write somewhere new - how the fear grips you and blocks you from writing anything. At all.
The only solution I’ve found is to focus on my positive intention and then trust things will work out okay. A lesson you could probably apply to other challenges when we need to feel the fear and do it anyway.
Thanks for sharing your own fears with us so honestly
Joanna
Joanna Young’s last blog post..Inspiration From Fire Breathing Writing Dragons
Fear often comes with opportunity. You could greatly reduce your fear by guest posting on lousy blogs, but that wouldn’t really do anything for you. I say go for it. You’ll probably look back and wonder why you even hesitated.
Hunter Nuttall’s last blog post..A Complaint Free World
Hi Kelly - I’ll try my best. I’m writing a lot of posts ahead of schedule to free up my time to start on the guest posts later in the week.
You were really brave posting on Zen habits - Leo has a massive audience.
I read your comment over on Mark’s blog. I have a couple of sites that bring me a small amount of completely passive income and I really want to add some more. It’s just getting round to it. I’m going to write a post about it on here soon cos I think it’s something a lot of people are interested in.
Hi Brett - Thank you. I’m glad you’re going to join in too. Good point re fearing the success. I think you know that once you’ve done that you’re going to have to push yourself even further.
Thanks Joanna - I’m going to be rereading some of your posts on guest posting - I know they’ll come in useful.
Hey Hunter - I don’t read any lousy blogs! I will definitely do the posts - I just wish I could get over the initial fear. I used to be far worse - I’d totally freeze up when I tried something new sometimes.
Excellent post Cath. I’m not sure how I’ve never found this site before because I’ve seen you on Stumble once or twice. Anyway enough of that malarkey, I’m here now because I found it from Akemi’s site.
If you writing is anything like mine, it just happens! My posts start in one area and then can go all over the place. The one thing I realised a year or so ago is not to fight it, but to flow with it. You were asked to guest posts for a reason - you’re a good writer! Trust that the people that asked you know what they’re talking about and then trust yourself.
Tim Brownson’s last blog post..Alternative Viewpoints
Cath,
I think you know this already, but you’re a talented writer. It’s not just the words, it’s the way you really understand an issue, can talk about it form experience, and engage the readers and make them think. And the chouice of topic is always spot-on, and creates the discussion which makes us all keep coming back for more.
I watched “The Secret” on DVD yesterday, and it covers this sort of thing. We can very easily create the negative outcome we fear by living it with it rather than focusing on the positives we already know.
If you were writing for your own blog, it would be great. So what’s really different? You are engaging an increasing audience with an amazing consistency. How you churn out the quality, day-in, day-out, I’ll never know.
Recently, I’ve had the “fear” challenge myself. Two prospective clients have enquired asking us to completely replace their entire in-house IT team. Outsource it in other words.
That includes us being party to redundancies. And taking on at least one or more outsiders I may not choose to employ.
I felt fear at first. But then I realised that we were being asked because the client had faith that we could do it. And when I analysed it, I can only agree with them.
We had diagnosed far more concisely the inherent challenges they had, not just with their IT, but with the way in which their business harnesses IT to be an effective tool.
If we’d been engaged to solve the problem as one-off project, it would have been an everyday thing for us solve it.
It’s then that we realised that we’re actually far better than we realised. The poor “bigger” SMEs are being held to ransom by power-crazy techies who wield that power because the poor business owner doesn;t know any better.
When we come in, we don;t really give a damn about personalities, we look at the business and what it needs.
And that’s where I realised, we are capable of doing a better job, for less money than they currently pay, and still be far more profitable on the deal. Purely because we strip away the nonsense and internal politics.
But I have been fearful over these new challenges - purely because we haven’t done it before.
But I know we’ll do it. And well too. So I’ve suppressed that irrational fear that leaps out in front of you and throws banana skins in your path.
Ian Denny’s last blog post..You Are The Best - So Why Don’t New Clients Beat Down Your Door?
Great post, Cath.
I have a theory that some types of fear can be a sign of something good. For instance, part of stage fright can be a person’s determination to give a truly excellent performance. That drive can be channeled. If we try not to pay attention to our fears, the opportunities behind them can go by unnoticed.
Paying attention to fears also helps us sort through which is just silly and which needs attention. Fear doesn’t discriminate - it’s a pass-fail, on-off emotion.
Fear is just an early warning system. The rest is up to us.
Elizabeth Able’s last blog post..Blog Content: Values and Strategy
Oh Catherine,
You did a wonderful job when you guest posted on my blog, I don’t know why you would get yourself all worked up. I know you’ll do great, no matter where you guest post at.
As far as getting out of our comfort zone, it reminds me of a conversation I had with a friend earlier today. She wants to do a few different and new things in her life. I just reminded her to take baby steps.
Being in your comfort zone is not necessarily a bad thing. It’s when we’re not happy with where we are at (and we want to change) when the fear starts to seep in. I always ask myself, “What’s the worse that can happen?” That usually eases a lot of my concerns.
Barbara Swafford’s last blog post..Celebrating One Year Of Blogging
Hi Tim - Thank you. It sounds like you write in a similar way to me. Sometimes i find that I’ve branched off onto another topic, so I have to turn it into two seperate posts.
Thanks Ian - I find it easy to come up with blog posts now, but I’ve been writing every day for years and in the beginning I really struggled to come up with things to write about.
The Secret video is quite good isn’t it. I think they’ve taken ideas from older books and sort of modernised it for a new generation, but the general principles are great.
Your problem sounds as though you could turn it into a huge benefit. If those two companies would like to outsource all their IT to you - I bet there’s more.
Maybe it would be worth trying to market the whole package in the beginning, as opposed to the fixing IT problems and persuading them to add other things later? It would remove a huge headache for many businesses and you could make a heap of cash from it. I’m guessing you may already be thinking about this.
Cath Lawson’s last blog post..Is Fear Stunting Your Growth?
Hi Elizabeth - that is very true - fear can be useful. As you say, it can push to perform better and probably motivate you to get things done. That is a good way of looking at it.
Hi Barbara - Thank you. I was nervous then too! But, I’d like to do another guest post for you soon. I love posting on different topics but I’ll probably feel like this each time I try a different one.
Your advice to your friend was good. Too many new things at once can cause major confusion and problems. Taking a step at a time is often wiser.
Cath Lawson’s last blog post..Is Fear Stunting Your Growth?
Hey Cath! Thanks for this post. Everyone suffers from the same doubts and fears - it makes us human and that much more accessible to our readers. Embrace it - like Kelly said, you are a fantastic writer and you won’t stuff anything up!
Albert | UrbanMonk.Net’s last blog post..Change of Direction for UrbanMonk.Net and My Life
Hi Cath,
What a nice post! Fear is a funny animal…it’s one of the reasons I decided to write the post that Kelly highlighted above. For a long time I had been thinking, I want to make money online [period]. But, I was paralyzed. So, I figured if I write about wanting to generate some income to help support my lifestyle then there is NO looking back
You are such a great writer that I look forward to reading both your guest posts
Hi Kelly – I can’t wait to read your ebook!
mark @ mytropicalescaep’s last blog post..AnyWired-Middlebrook Make Money Online Challenge: Open Source Entrepreneurship
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