To Share Or Not To Share?
May 7, 2008
If you intend to use a blog to promote your business, or build a brand, you need to decide at the outset whether you’re going to use your real name, or an anonymous pseudonym. Your decision will probably be based on what you’re trying to achieve and the message you want to share. And if you choose to use your real name, you’ll need to decide how much information you’re going to give away.
No matter what they’re writing about, most of the most successful bloggers give away snippets of their own lives and experiences. Often, they’ll share their mistakes, their hopes and their plans. Many bloggers fall into this category including: Ian Denny, Liz Strauss, Monika Mundell and Barbara Swafford.
We begin sharing information that we hope will be useful to our target audience. But the trouble is, when you first begin blogging, it’s like speaking to an empty room. Then a few more people visit and some people begin to comment and it’s like having an informal discussion with a small group.
But as the months pass, a handful of visitors can soon become thousands of people each week and that’s when you start to question whether you should be giving away so much.
Since I began blogging, I discovered that some folk I know in the offline world read this blog. And that’s ok - it’s nice that some of them want to read it. But if you’re like me, there’s some people you just don’t want in your audience. When you begin blogging, it doesn’t even occur to you that those people might be reading.
Trouble is, once some people discover that you blog, they will begin reading not because they’re interested in your blog topic. They’re simply interested in gathering information about you - or worse still - stalking or harrassing you.
Now, I wouldn’t share important things on this blog that I hadn’t already discussed with my family, which is just as well. Would you believe that someone actually called my mother to make sure she knew that I was planning to move to Australia? Of course she did but it was clear that the caller was hoping she didn’t.
I like sharing information that may be useful to others. And I’ve blogged a lot about mistakes I’ve made. But now I’ve started to wonder whether I should censor what I say.
What do you think? Blogs do need to have a personal touch, but how much information is too much. Has your blog audience grown to the point where you think you should be censoring what you have to say? Or will you carry on saying what you want regardless?
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28 Responses to “To Share Or Not To Share?”
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Good question Cath. Let me answer that with what I do. When I first came online many years ago I was shy to even let people know in forums what my real name was.
I hid behind an alias and felt cool to do so.
Fast forward a couple of years and a failed MLM business opportunity.
I knew that I had it in me to become a great writer. So I set out to brand myself all over the web and what better way to do this than with my own name.
The great thing is that it worked and I have not a single doubt that I did the right thing. Over the time I started blogging seriously I’ve also given away more and more snippets about myself and the life I’m living.
There is no fear in me in sharing what I do since I don’t give away my real private stuff like credit card info and all.
I also think that my readers read my blog because I show them the real me. No false cover - no hype and certainly no lies.
With me, what you see is what you get and I intend to keep traveling on that road. Should I ever get calls like your mum or stalked, I have a reliable baseball bat and a sharp tongue if need be.
Monika Mundell’s last blog post..Opportunity Cost - A New Beginning
I’ve always blogged under pseudonyms, probably from spending some of my early teen years in a forum with the mod skills of the wild west. It was fun, but I also knew I couldn’t trust anyone.
Anyway, as I see it now, it’s in my best interest to develop a mini-Mrs. Micah brand instead of only marketing myself under my own name. I’ll do the latter too, but there are probably more people who’d be willing to hire Mrs. Micah than some random chick.
I completely understand what you’re saying. I’d feel a bit strange using a pseudonym.
I think there are obvious dangers and downsides. But we can’t please all the people all the time. Even off-line and in business and private capacities, you will inevitably alienate or upset people - even though you’re not doing anything upsetting!
Some people take umbrage at tone of voice. Others at the the way you look. And I find that in our business. Some clients get on well with me and vice versa. Others don’t. And I don’t treat them any differently.
The chemistry just isn’t right.
On balance, I feel an open and honest approach online is the best policy. With the caveat that you don’t give away too much personal stuff.
Someone determined to find out stuff about you can do so even if you did nothing online.
Life would be really dull if we crept about and skulked in corners - virtually or otherwise.
Life is for living and if there is a little danger in being honest, then for me it’s still worth it.
Ian Denny’s last blog post..Deliberately Displease People For Better Results
I haven’t told anyone I know offline about my blog. I’d prefer that they not read it, mainly because people we know always give the harshest criticism. But also we have our boundaries–we talk to family about these things, we talk to friends about these other things, etc. I’m sure people will find me someday though.
I think it’s important to share some details, but just use common sense about what you give away. By the way, my credit card number is 24378282246310005 in case anyone needs it.
Hunter Nuttall’s last blog post..More Bang For The Buck: High ROI Opportunities
Hi Monika - That’s what I really like about your blog - you’re straight and honest and I like reading your stories. I liked what you wrote about Vic and it’s very true - those of us who tell it like it is often piss people off. But the backstabbers and liars always come across as nice - that’s why they get away with it I suppose.
I will be honest - I initially thought Vic was rude and mouthy, but your explanation made me thing about things differently.
Mrs Micah - What you have done is great, because you’ve actually used a really clever name - especially for a personal finance blog. I think you’ll build an excellent brand.
Hi Ian - I never thought about it like that. I suppose I annoy lots of people in real too, so the Internet doesn’t really make much difference.
Hi Hunter - I know what you mean about boundaries. But don’t forget those different groups of people will find you one day. Mind you, you never seem to write anything too personal or potentially annoying - yet. By the way - I’m guessing that’s not your real credit card number right?
I chose the name quite randomly because I was just coming back from my honeymoon. But it’s worked out quite well.
Hi Catherine,
First of all, thank you for the mention and link love.
When I started blogging, I did question whether I wanted to use my real name or not, but I also felt I wouldn’t be true to myself if I didn’t.
To this day, I don’t know where blogging will take me, but I do like that I remain transparent. Like Monika, as time passes I also share more about myself, and leave it up to my readers to decide if they want to continue following my journey, or not.
As much as I do understand why some choose to use a pseudonym, I don’t think I could write as freely as I do if I had to worry that something I said, could “blow my cover”.
As far as self censorship, I think that can only be decided by the author. Blogs age, we change, but what we write in cyberspace will stay there forever. (unless we delete or update our previous posts).
Barbara Swafford’s last blog post..Outsourcing Your Blog - Never Say Never
If you run a business blog, then it’s important to remember that - at all times - you must maintain a professional business attitude.
Get personal, sure. We do on our blog. But we also reveal nothing that could be damaging. People who read our blog, be they people we know or people we don’t, aren’t learning anything we don’t want them to -
- because we know when we should keep something to ourselves.
It isn’t censoring. It’s knowing what you should share and what you shouldn’t.
Hi Barbara - That is true - I suppose writing under a pseudonym, there is always the worry someone will blow your cover. And that could turn out bad - especially if you’d blogged about your asshole boss or anything else that could get you into trouble.
Hi James - Trouble is judging what might be damaging. Some people have a knack of causing damage out of v little, given the opportunity. I still can’t believe someone I don’t even know that well called my mother to say I was emigrating.
This is an EXCELLENT topic.
Your example of someone phoning your Mom is perfect example of why I like to keep anonymous.
Another example is when I wrote a letter to the editor of the local paper. I recieved a couple of phone calls from an obsessed old geezer who wanted to debate with me. He even came by to my house. It was starting to creep me out.
Sure, these events were relatively harmless, but what if something worse happened? What if these people were psychos?
A good friend of mine was harassed by an Internet stalker for almost a year. Phone calls, at home and at work, to his boss, even! It made his life miserable until the authorities finally got the stalker to desist.
I live in a small town. If I used real names, people could easily identify themselves in my stories, and it could make life difficult, especially at work.
My stories are genuine. What I write about is pure “me”. I’m the Friar. I just don’t necessarily want the whole world to know where I live. That’s why I dont’ use real names.
If I do get to know and trust someone, I’ll email them outside my Blog.
Anyway, that’s my two cents.
Friar’s last blog post..Management Visual Aids for Dummies
Hi Friar - the old geezer you encountered would have given me the creeps too. That is as good a reason as any to be anonymous. And as you say, if you want to blog about things people have done and you live in a small place, you’re buggered.
Talking about your friend, who was stalked - I read that Patricia Cornwell also had some weirdo stalking her on the Internet and it also took her a while to get rid of them. I guess some nut reads her books and thinks she is actually one of the characters - v scary.
I, too, think this is an important topic. Having published a book about moving to Australia and being engaged in blogging about my own reactions to this country and how it is similar to and different from the United States, I didn’t consider the possibility of being anonymous.
I did read, though, of a famous blogger (female) who was slandered and verbally abused so extensively and unfairly that she abandoned her blog, at least for a time. So I fully understand the desire for self-protection and I may regret telling our story so openly.
My compromise is to be especially careful with information involving others. In my latest blog, for example, I am careful to avoid giving identifying details about a researcher (not named) who left her job with a government agency (not identified) to take a position out side the US (in a country not named).
Ultimately, we all operate on the basis of trust, don’t we? Sometimes that trust is violated, but usually it’s not. — Bob
Robert Hill’s last blog post..?Give it a go? and ?can do?
Whoa . .. wait. Hold on. Back up!
Someone called your mother? What the…? That’s crazy! I mean, what did they say, “Hi, my name is _____ and I read your daughter’s blog. Did you know she wants to convert to Aussie?”
I got to tell you, this is why I like blogs like yours and others on here. I’ve only been blogging since last November and I’m learning a lot about the trade.
I want to get more personable with my audience, but I clearly see how that can be bad.
I guess you just have to figure out that line you can’t cross. It’s pretty hard to do though when this world is so diverse.
@Friar - that’s pretty funny you were being stalked by an old man!
John Hoff’s last blog post..Fear Can Ruin Your Business From Within
Hi Cath,
I share things I’m working on, but I’m always aware that the Internet has no eraser. I don’t share what’s not my own. I don’t name my family.
Sharing thoughts that I’d share in person or in public doesn’t bother me. I’ve been stalked and bothered in sad/bad ways, but I can’t stop being me.
Thank you for writing this. Posts like this are the reason I so admire you.
Liz Strauss’s last blog post..Joanna Young at SOBCon08
@Cath
Yeah, it is a bit of a pain, being in a small town with one major employer. Man, I would LOVE to write about all the stupidity that goes on at work. I could fill a book. But I’m too afraid Big Brother will find out and I’ll end up getting “Dooced”.
I’ve also seen people blog about their kids. Showing their kids’ actual names including PHOTOS. Wow….why don’t they just leave a trail of bread crumbs for the pedophiles?
I think 99.9% of all bloggers are like us. Normal, decent folk. It’s the other 0.1% I worry about.
@John Hoff
Yeah, it was pretty funny. My “Senior Stalker” was retired and had nothing better to do with his life. I’m just glad he was a feeble 70 year old and not a 200 lb. biker! :-).
It made for a good blog post, anyway.
Friar’s last blog post..Management Visual Aids for Dummies
Hi Bob - I remember that incident with the famous female blogger. I wish she’d had the strength to carry on. But I think death threats were involved and she called the police etc. How awful that she had to stop what she was good at because of a few jealous, chauvinistic assholes.
Hi John - it was bad. The caller obviously hoped it would cause problems. But I can’t understand why people would do such a thing - which makes it hard to know what to leave out.
Hi Liz - Thank you. It’s sad that you’ve also attracted the stalkers and weirdo’s. But you are right - we shouldn’t let these people get to us, because that’s what they want.
Hi Friar - I don’t do the photos and name things either. My kids did complain that I don’t mention them, so I agreed to include them sometimes but not use their names.
Catherine, you’re right to suspect that I’m not that trusting..the credit card number is one of PayPal’s test numbers, with a couple of random digits added. But no one commented that it didn’t work, so I guess you have trustworthy readers!
Hunter Nuttall’s last blog post..More Bang For The Buck: High ROI Opportunities
Hi Hunter - that is a relief. But I’m guessing that thieves probably wouldn’t comment.
Cath Lawson’s last blog post..43 Amazing Resources For Writers
Hi Cath!
Tag! You’re it. I’ve tagged you to play Brett’s Blog game.
http://deepfriar.wordpress.com/2008/05/09/8-random-friar-facts/
Friar’s last blog post..8 Random Friar Facts
Hi Friar - Thanks for thinking of me but, I already did this one a little while ago: http://cathlawson.com/blog/2008/03/10/8-random-things-about-me-im-into-plastic-in-bed/
But I will do another sharing post next week.
Someone phoned your mum??? Jeez, that is amazing! Can I use a technical life coaching term that many of you may not understand? What a sad sack
I haven’t had any issues like that, but then again my mum is dead so it would have been problematical at best.
I do think women get more grief than guys which in and of itself is a sad indictment on society and I think you have to go where you feel comfortable.
I think I may be do give too much personal information away but I have a doberman to protect me and I’m always skint so hacking into anything of mine is an exercise in futility.
BTW Cath I tagged you a few days ago but you never check your SU account do you? Or are you just ignoring me?
Don’t make me have to come a stalking Cath
Tim Brownson’s last blog post..Which Half Do You Believe?
Hi Tim - I know - but at least I’ll never run out of fruitloops to write about.
Not ignoring you - the bast..ds at SU have banned me. Will check out the tag and write the post.
Cath
Oh well. No big deal. (Actually ,I was tagged in the third or fouth round…when pretty much everyone I knew was already picked).
It’s a geometric progression…8 x 8 x 8……Even after 3 rounds, over 500 people could get picked.
Friar’s last blog post..8 Random Friar Facts
This topic is popping up a lot lately and I am definitely in the group who shares. The extent that I share is determined by my gut instincts, my hubby’s opinion and the answer to the question “Can I live with the consequences of this being public knowledge?”
The latter has meant that there is much that I do not talk about because I do not want some of my life to be out there for all to see. Maybe because it would be embarrassing for me and some things I would like to write about I know would just be too hurtful for others. As a writer, I think transparency and baring yourself is an important part of becoming a great writer and to be honest on my blog feels right to me. But it is also my choice so I try not to make my family collateral damage. My hubby approves anything that involves him and our son and I don’t use my husband and son’s names. There is the odd photo of my kid, but he’s 4 and is changing so much I dare you to pick him out of a crowd. It also helps I guess that both my boys have a different name to mine so my sins stay my own and that’s the way I like it.
Kelly@SHE-POWER’s last blog post..No, I’m Not Dead
Since I’ve been online now as an entrepreneur since 1998, I’m all over the Internet. I make certain, however, that whenever I post something online I ask myself:
Would I be embarrassed if my kids read it now? In a year? In 10 years? etc.
The Internet never dies; postings can always be found and resurrected. Just look at how people dig into the histories of political candidates…it’s pathetic.
‘Use with caution’ is my motto.
Enjoy,
Barbara
Barbara Ling’s last blog post..Middleschooler Hacks Personal Wordpress Theme, Makes Money Online
When asking to share or not, you are really asking if your name is worthwhile enough to brand. If you can’t stand behind what you write, then don’t write it or use a pseudonym.
But when I started asking questions to both online and offline people, a Baptist preacher named Gordon Atkinson, whose blog, Real Live Preacher, I had stumbled upon (though not via the SU application), told me that when he started his blog he was anonymous, not telling his readers who he was or where he was. Eventually, he gave away enough unintentional hints that his congregation started asking and he came out of the so-called anonymous closet. His blogging, since, is even better.
Check out my blog and search for the “Introduction” tags, bringing up 2-3 posts when I defined how I envisoned my blog to be branded.
Ari’s last blog post..I Missed The Rolling Stones
@ Barbara - true - those things are worth considering. I would hate to be a politician - nothing would be a secret.
@ Ari - Thanks, I will check that out. It is interesting that his writing improved once he started using his real name.
When I started blogging, I read many blog’s from experienced bloggers about blogging. They told me to reveal yourself and let people know more about you.
I think if I let others to know me, they will communicate with me and likely stick with my blog and its working.
But there are lines and ethics of blogging and you should not reveal confidential and very personal informations in your blog.
Tamal Anwar’s last blog post..Sunday blogging - Week 3