How Far Can You Go Before You Bump Your Head?
July 21, 2008
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Do you believe there’s a limit to what you can achieve? Or is anything possible if you aim high and keep trying? I read an interesting discussion on that very subject, on The Discomfort Zone and I’d love to hear your opinions.
Craig Harper claimed that it would be unrealistic to think we can achieve whatever goals we want in life, some things will be beyond our reach.
But Tim Brownson argued that we can all achieve our goals, if we have the right physical and mental capabilities. But also he said that not everyone can achieve their dreams when they’re aiming for something that is in scarce supply, eg. winning a Nobel prize, having a number one record, or becoming President.
And Tom Volkar said that there’s no such glass ceiling, otherwise George Bush wouldn’t be President of the USA.
I’m with Tom on this one - I believe if someone truly believes they can achieve a goal and they put every effort into getting there, no matter how many times they fall down, then they can do it. One thing’s for sure, if you don’t aim for something, because you believe it is beyond you, you have no chance of getting there.
What do you think? Do you believe we’re being unrealistic if we think we can achieve anything we want to achieve? Or do you think that if we aim high, many things are possible, but there’s a glass ceiling when it comes to certain goals? Or do you believe there’s no limit to what you can achieve, so long as you believe in yourself and never give up?
Please share your thoughts and stories in the comments section.
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41 Responses to “How Far Can You Go Before You Bump Your Head?”
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Hi Cath,
I really enjoyed this post of Tim’s (and so many others…) and think Tom kind of proved the point with the Bush example…. I would like to add that the person does have to take REAL inspired action steps and know the difference between that and just wishing or delusion…. An example is the American Idol auditions — some of the people TRULY believe that they have great talent but it is obvious they have not taken years of singing lessons or taken the logical steps to get to that next point. Singing in front of your mirror and listening to your parents say “you’re awesome” just won’t cut it to get to the next level…. But I believe if you WANT it with all your heart and soul and KNOW it can happen and keep taking steps forward — the Universe has many surprise doors that will open. It might not unfold the way that person envisioned — but that’s part of the beauty and surprise of life!
On another note thank you again for your post on Akemi — I had my reading, am “Doing my homework” and feel great! She’s awesome and I feel this was an important step for me to take to make my dreams a reality….
Gratefully, Jenny
Jennifer Mannion’s last blog post..SFT Will Teach You How to Remove Emotional Pain
Hi Jenny - you’re welcome. I’m so pleased you enjoyed your reading. Others who have had them done have also been happy and I’m glad that you were all able to benefit from them.
I understand what you mean about taking real inspired action steps. Some people just don’t put the necessary work in to get what they want. I have seen Pop Idol on TV and many people don’t seem to have practised much at all.
Self-limiting is the #1 thing that blocks some from being successful.
RacerX’s last blog post..Personal Finance Tips from Jay Leno
Personally, I think it’s possible to reach any goal you set for yourself as long as you’ve got a good plan, dedication, and a timeline. However, just because it’s possible doesn’t mean you will always get it.
Just because you’ve worked your entire life to be the president of the United States and have made all the right moves doesn’t mean for 100% that you will one day be president.
It is possible to make all the right moves and still fail. But failure is all relative.
John Hoff - eVentureBiz’s last blog post..Videos To Help Craft A Better Website & Attract Attention
Hi Racer - I think so too. If you set yourself limits - I don’t see how you can achieve anything above them.
Hi John - I guess setting the timeline is really important too. And thinking about that - I suppose the one thing that would stop you from achieving such an ambitious goal would be death.
I’m with Tom, Tim and you on this one, Cath.
It is my strong personal belief that we can all achieve remarkable things (within human limits i.e. no flying without wings
! )
However, great accomplishments don’t just happen by accident.
Unrealistic goals turn into real results through a combination of targetted action, self- planning, motivation, determination, focus- and maybe just a little of the wind blowing in the right direction.
This isn’t luck but, rather, is the after effects of a combination of positive factors which you set in motion by your own efforts.
Could I ever have walked on the moon? I could have, if I’d really wanted to badly enough. But, no, I won’t because it’s not a goal I’ve ever had.
But it was a goal for someone called Neil Armstrong… and look where he ended up
I believe that people should aim high - if they want to. Some people are just not very ambitious.
I also believe that there ARE external limitations that are beyond our control. However, as long as one isn’t afraid of failing, or of eventually settling for less than her original goal, then sure - one should aim as high as she possibly can, and disregard naysayers and social conventions.
Vered’s last blog post..Best Shot Monday: A Taste Of Barcelona
Vered took the words right out of my mouth. Intellectually, we know that there are always elements beyond our control and anything can happen. Still, we ought to pursue our goals as if we didn’t know this. Nothing is a sure thing, but if you go into something full of doubt, you’re going to have a hard time getting anywhere. On the other hand, if you start with confidence, there’s no telling how far you can go.
Brad Shorr’s last blog post..Word Gadfly, and Proud of It
Hi Scott - That’s interesting - I’ve often wondered what element of luck is involved in situations and whether it’s completely random, or determined by the actions we take.
Hi Vered - That is so true - there’s an amazing number of people out there with no ambition whatsoever. I guess that makes it a lot easier for those who do want to aim high.
And as you pointed out - if we aim for the moon and only reach the stars, that would still be a great achievement in itself.
Hi Brad - I see what you mean - having any doubts at all would probably ruin our chances - so we have to believe we can reach our goal, no matter how bold it is.
Hi Cath,
Oh, I love Tom Volkar’s quote! I also believe in aiming high. However, I notice that the 3 quotes you select were from men - though thankfully, not all off the comments - and the blog itself. I still, however, believe that in this country, too many women are forced to abandon their goals if they decide to become parents. Though this is certainly not true for all women who become mothers, I do believe that motherhood can be self-limiting in terms of reaching - or breaking through - the “glass ceiling,” making it far more difficult for them.
With divorce rates at 50%, a general childcare mess, and few men willing to forgo THEIR dreams, women are often left to aim just a little bit lower than they might have wanted to. I do not wish to turn your excellent point into a gender conflict, but I also don’t think that we can ignore the facts.
My career was DEFINITELY sidetracked after I had children. If they were sick, I had to stay home, as I made less money. And I can’t count how many “vacation” and “personal” days I had to take for school closings due to weather, or other child-related issues. No matter how supportive my husband tried to be, if ANYONE was going to be held back professionally, it was me. He earned twice my salary, and if anyone was going to have dreams and goals put on hold, it had to be me. We couldn’t have survived on my salary alone. Even before becoming a parent, I started 4K behind in the 10K salary race.
Rita
Rita’s last blog post..It’s Time to Go Back to School - NOW
The choice of goal is more important. If you choose one in an area where you lack passion, achieving the goal will be a pointless torture for you.
If however it’s something you have passion about, the world is your lobster, and you’re the only one preventing yourself from achieving it.
I met someone who runs a franchise today. She has spent years struggling. I hadn;t seen her for about 18 months. And the last few times I’d seen her, she was miserable.
But then she decided that she actually enjoys what she does. She’d also read the Secret and decided that she was going to make a go of it. And she has.
She has transformed. She is fulfilling her potential. And it’s actually a franchise where she has a little more freedom and has now paid her dues.
Many around her have gone bust, but she has survived and is now thriving.
Because of her former demeanour, I stopped referring her. Simply because I didn’t want her struggle and (I stress “former”) poor attitude to get through to my clients.
Because she came to see us, we’re now full steam ahead supporting her, and we’re delighted to refer her again. And ironically, we were one of her best referrers before her mental dip. And she didn’t begin to touch the potential we had for her.
So she’ll thrive - just because she’s decided that there isn’t a ceiling.
Ian Denny’s last blog post..Is Your Small Business Missing This Vital Competitive Edge?
First off let’s give credit where it is due. Tim said this in the comments first. I was just piling on a very easy target.
“If George Bush can become President of the most powerful country on earth then nobody can tell me that talent always wins out.” Tim Brownson
That said, how many more remarkable stories do we have to see to realize that something magical happens when we confidently believe?
Here is the bottom line truth from a life-long (58 years young) personal development explorer and life coach (10 years).
Anything works if you truly believe it does.
Something unexplainable and magical occurs when we diligently move in the direction of our dreams. Tim’s original point was that he would never tell a client that she couldn’t do what she wanted to do or reach the impossible. I don’t either. Because it’s a coaches job, all of our job’s really, to support, build-up, encourage and champion those who want to achieve something remarkable.
Tom Volkar / Delightful Work’s last blog post..Wildness
Hi Rita - Sorry, I didn’t pick quotes by men deliberately. I was just trying to pick up on the main points of the thread. What Tom said was hilarious wasn’t it?
I understand where you’re coming from with the gender issue. I also had a lot of time off due to kids, long term illness etc.
And I know it can be frustrating to have missed so many years and have the feeling of getting behind. But you can also turn it round in a positive way and use that feeling to push yourself even more and aim higher.
Hi Ian - That’s interesting - a franchise that gives people freedom. Are you sure it’s a franchise?
It’s great that your friend has managed to pull things round. What was it about the Secret that made her decide she enjoyed what she was doing after all? I love hearing stories about people who are influenced by things like that.
Sorry Tom - I thought you said the George Bush thing. All these Toms and Tims get really confusing. Sorry Tim - it was a really good quote.
It was the other guy - Craig Harper that I couldn’t understand. It says on his website that he’s the world’s number one motivational speaker. But I’m struggling to understand how he manages to motivate people, when he thinks it’s not true that people can be whatever they want to be if they apply themselves.
Or am I missing some vital point here?
I’m really curious about this life coaching. And I’m wondering how far it goes. Say if a potential client came to you - and they were convinced they wanted to fly (like a bird, not on a plane) and that was there main goal in life and they seemed perfectly sane, would you take them on as a client. And would you really believe they could do it? Because we don’t know that it isn’t possible do we?
I quoted Tim in my comment but didn’t make it clear even though I used quotation marks. Sorry.
As far as Harper I haven’t read him enough to know what he’s all about yet - so I’ll reserve judgment.
Thankfully I’ve yet to meet someone who wants to fly so perhaps my theory hasn’t been fully tested. Yet the main point is this. The client selects the agenda. The coach acts as a tool to guide and support the client in pursuit of their objectives.
Yes, sometimes that guidance allows a client to see that what they have chosen may not be physically possible. Yet that is their conclusion, not my bias. If I allow my bias to slip in then I’m not helping them be their authentic self.
But I don’t want to dodge your question. So if I thought that a truly sane individual really wanted to fly like a bird I would explore the possibility with him or her. I might begin by examining motivations, desired feelings and what the client hoped to gain by doing so. But I’d believe in their right to go for what they want and to invest every ounce of their spiritual, physical, mental and emotional energies in doing so.
Finally have you ever stepped off the world record for a long jump? It’s 29 feet 4 inches. Look at that distance and tell me that humans cna’t fly.
Tom Volkar / Delightful Work’s last blog post..Wildness
Nope, don’t agree…. only because back when I was in college, I experienced the reality.
Back then, I was studying complex variables, and I did every single problem in the book, went to every office hour, tackled every possible learning experience….to no avail. Passed the class…but barely.
That being said, it was my first introduction to learning there’s no dishonor in failing if you can honestly say - I did the very best I could possibly do.
However, 20+ years later, I’d modify it to say, it’s not a question that you can do anything you desire….it’s more so, you can tackle any challenge you desire to the very best of your abilities. Success OR failure will be determined at the pinnacle….what you do with either result is the gift you take away.
Data points, Barbara
Barbara Ling, Virtual Coach’s last blog post..Is YOUR wordpress blog open and inviting thieves? Hat tip to Nicky510
Sorry Tom - I didn’t have my glasses on. That’s a really long jump. So after your coaching then - if they still wanted to fly, you would help them achieve it. That is good.
I only asked because so many things we take for granted now are things that many people wouldn’t have believed possible 100 years or so ago. We only have things like aeroplanes, tv’s, telephones etc etc because a small number of people believed they were possible.
Hi Barbara - that’s interesting. When you were studying - were you just aiming to pass, or were you aiming to get a higher mark? And if you hadn’t just passed barely, would you have had the opportunity to do the year again?
I don’t know that talent, skills, or anything of that nature had anything to do with Bush’s “achieving” his status as president.
That disclaimer out of the way ;-), my feeling would be someplace in the middle. The goal must be attainable, and we have to have more than skill. The right connections, ambition, skills and monetary means, etc., all come into play the way I see it. I’m not saying it’s bad to believe in ourselves, but some things will always be out of reach. As long as we’re honest with ourselves and know what’s not attainable, that’s the key I think. I’ll never be an opera singer, or president. And I’m ok with that. Saving my energy to focus on the things I CAN do. But yes, it’s a fine line sometimes.
Amy Derby’s last blog post..Pick a Winner, We Dare You
Cath,
Just so you know, I DID turn it around - and found happiness when I stopped even trying to chase the bucks. Instead, I got re-directed to an area I love, and, as a teacher, every time you get a point through, you’ve smashed the glass ceilings of success and accomplishment. Take the mucho $$$ off the table, and you fly higher every day,
Rita’s last blog post..My Sex Life? Sure, Just Ask! By Rita - Editor in Chief
Hi Amy - I would have thought all those things are attainable, aside from ambition. I wonder where it comes from - are we born with it, or is it environmental? Can people obtain more ambition, or are they stuck with the amount they’ve got?
Reading what you’ve said, it seems that being happy about what you believe you can do is very important.
Hi Rita - well I was thinking, you do seem happy about your teaching and writing. So I guess what you’re saying is that you’ve achieved your goals so far but you just haven’t been paid enough for reaching them yet?
Hi Catherine,
I believe we can reach almost any goal we set out to do. Often in the process we may get sidetracked, and end up in a place we never expected, which is better than our original goal. How sweet is that when it happens?
Barbara Swafford’s last blog post..Interview With Lorelle VanFossen - Part 1 - Stay Motivated
Hi Barbara - I like that idea. Ending up in a place that is better than your original goal would be awesome. I will email you in the morning - well it will be your tonight, I suppose. I’m keen to know how you did with the garage sale.
Cath,
An interesting conclusion, albeit not a correct one. I just GAVE UP on even WANTING the big bucks! I make enough money and I’m happy. Being “forced” to abandon the chase through the glass ceiling made me re-evaluate my priorities. Is it not possible to be happy without wanting to be rich?
My first point was only trying to demonstrate that many social institutions in the US (like marriage and child-rearing) create a situation where many women who DO want the bucks have to make some incredibly difficult - and frequently different - choices than do men.
I was lucky - I got re-directed. Many women are neither lucky nor happy. They want the money and advancement, but feel “stuck” between the proverbial rock and the hard place. And I believe that ANYONE should be able to set - and pursue - whatever goals they wish. Unfortunately, however, especially for women, “life” sometimes gets in the way.
As for myself, I have NO complaints about the way my life turned out. I don’t think anyone has ever implied that I’m a “sell-out” because I DON’T care about the money.
Rita’s last blog post..My Sex Life? Sure, Just Ask! By Rita - Editor in Chief
There are a few issues involved here.
First, when a person knows who he or she is (and I mean really know from the soul level), they don’t aim goals too high for them. What may seem like a high goal for others may be well within reach and the person knows.
That’s what happens when you are connected to your higher self. Many people are not. So they choose goals pretty randomly from what they see outside. Now we are talking about too high goals indeed. Or too humble goals for that matter. You can’t judge this from the outside.
Akemi - Yes to Me’s last blog post..Review: How Ordinary People Became Millionaires
I believe that we can certainly aim high. If we are truly in touch with our heart’s desire, magic can happen. But if not, we still never loose… “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll be among stars.”
Davina’s last blog post..Like a Bird
I agree with Akemi because I have transformed myself from being a highly critical and miserable person to success. A lot of it is because of personal development and even more important following my passion. After doing Akemi’s soul reading I also know that I barely touched my potential but even knowing this, I am happy and truly feel successful in my current life.
Success to me isn’t directly related to the amount of money I earn either (I thought it important to mention this since many people think money = success). No, it is related to how I FEEL every single day when I wake up. How my energies vibrate and therefore align with the powerful forces in the universe.
Therefore it is possible to become whatever we want to be, but only if we are aligned. To me this alignment starts with happiness and passion for what we do.
Monika Mundell’s last blog post..The Remarkable Person Within You
Hi Cath - interesting stuff!
I think it depends on whether the goals come from our intuition or not. We have good friends who also have a recording studio, and they have a goal to win a particular music award by a particular time (I doubt they read this blog!)
We think this is ridiculous - partly because in their driven striving they are recording people who are crap, and also because they are setting themselves up for failure. Our own goals are more to do with feeling satisfaction, feeling challenged and excited - things like that - and we are recording really good artists.
Our intuition would only guide us to have goals that were worth attaining and attainable… um… I think I might write a post about this!
Cheers - Robin
(now I’ve just read Akemi’s comment and she has said much the same thing - I love Barbara’s comment, too.)
Robin’s last blog post..A Magic Trick For Relationships
Hi Cath - I loved following the comments from people. Great discussion!
I think with most success stories, there is a combination of luck and skill. You can control skill, but not luck. However, if you keep trying over and over again, the odds are in your favor, and success can come quicker with greater skills (or slower with less skills).
Al at 7P’s last blog post..How To Work On Something You Hate
Well Cath, I’m an optimist like you. I believe that if you truly set your mind to something, if you’re heart is really in it, just about anything is achievable.
I find it difficult to believe that there might exist preset limits to the body and mind that might keep us from accomplishing our goals. If our heart is really in it, I feel that an individual would condition his/herself to endure the challenges on the road to achieving the goals.
Hi Cath,
Aiming JUST to “pass”? Me? The original “I can DO this” person?
Heck no, I was aiming to do the very very very best I could, I’d have graciously accepted an A, of course. But for some strange reason, my mind just refused to comprehend it.
As I was a senior then, no, I couldn’t redo it…but even if I could, 5 months of non-stop effort to no avail did make an impression on me. I would NOT have chosen to tackle it again.
Data points, Barbara
Barbara Ling, Virtual Coach’s last blog post..Wordpress for iPhone, download now! (plus 20 other resources)
Hi Rita - I see - so you decided you didn’t want the extra money. That’s interesting. Sometimes I speak to people who want X amount of money but often they actually think they need more than they do, to do the things they want to do. So much money is wasted on stuff that people realise they don’t need after they’ve bought it.
Hi Akemi - I see what you mean. I don’t think my goals have changed since me reading. But the reading has helped me see a much clearer path towards them. Beforehand, I was going in completely the wrong direction. Thank you. Your readings have a life changing effect and I would recommend them to everyone.
Hi Davina - That is a good point - and the stars are a pretty good place to reach.
Hi Monika - I’m glad Akemi’s reading benefited you too. It’s difficult to explain how much it helps, as a lot of the things in the reading are personal.
I have always liked the stuff you write but I’ve noticed that it is even better since your reading with Akemi. You’re writing some immensely powerful stuff, like this post: http://www.thewritersmanifesto.com/blog/2008/07/19/the-remarkable-person-within-you/
Hi Robin - It sounds like your friends want to win for the sake of winning, not because of the satisfaction they get from doing something well. I can see how that could become dangerous, if the desire to be your very best at something wasn’t there. Your attitude towards what you are doing sounds much more healthy.
Hi Al - I too enjoy it when there’s so many interesting comments. I like what you say about finding more luck if you keep trying. I have noticed that a lot in marketing too. I guess the more you put yourself out there - the more chance you have of luck finding you.
Hi Ricardo - What you say about your heart being truly in it is important isn’t it? While it’s possible to achieve some success from things we’re not completely passionate about, it becomes much easier when we do things we are passionate about doesn’t it?
Hi Barbara - I didn’t think you would just aim to be average somehow. I wonder if you were really passionate about what you were studying? It is much different to the creative work you do now.
Cath Lawson’s last blog post..How Far Can You Go Before You Bump Your Head?
I think most people are capable of achieving much, much more than they ever realise. There are going to be some limitations (but I agree with the george bush comment!) but sometimes it is the process of challenging the perceived limitations that holds the answer, or leads us in another, even better direction.
I think the saddest thing I have ever heard was a young kid of 16 who, when I asked him about any plans for the future said to me ” I don’t have a future, I’m just a junkie”. he had bought into OTHER peoples beliefs about who he was what he could achieve.
Today he is, clean, on track to graduate and go to university next year to study science. A lot of people told him this was an impossible dream. I’m glad that he decided to find out for himself!!
My mother always told me to ‘dream a BIG dream’. If i had believed other peoples limited views about me I would be living a very different life.
So how far can you go before you bump your head? A bloody long way!!
louise’s last blog post..Life Rewards Action!
Hi Louise - What a great story. So it sounds as though your ambition, or lack of it can be influenced by other people’s beliefs then. That is really sad.
Good for you listening to your mother. And well done on resigning from your job.
Well, if your heart isn’t in it you subconsciously impose a limit upon yourself by saying that you can only make it so far…there’s a limit to what you can achieve. (At least that’s the way I see it).
Ricardo Bueno’s last blog post..“The Sky’s the Limit!”
Hi Ricardo - I agree. It’s dangerous to impose a limit on yourself. You can’t go somewhere, unless you actually believe you can. I suppose that if some people are happy only reaching that limit though, it’s ok.
“Do you believe we’re being unrealistic if we think we can achieve anything we want to achieve? ”
Depends on the goal. Most often though unrealistic goals only lead to disappointment and frustration.
John’s last blog post..Funny Acronym Tuesday: Revenge of Part II
Hi John - you have a point. I think that often happens when people set themselves unrealistic timescales. For example, I was reading two blogs recently. One blogger had set themselves a goal of losing around 60lbs in weight and another had set themselves a goal of doing $1 million dollar in sales with their new business.
Both goals were achievable, but the timescales weren’t realistic. The first blogger wound up gaining weight because he had aimed to lose it too quickly. The second one had little start up capital, no experience and expected to achieve his goal within one year of trading. They’d both set themselves up for disappointment by being unrealistic.
Just a quick thank you for your kind words about my Akashic Record Reading. It is truly such a wonderful feeling to hear that my service helps my clients. Thank you for letting me help you this way.
Same to you Monika — you go power girl!
Akemi - Yes to Me’s last blog post..Review: How Ordinary People Became Millionaires
Hi Akemi - you’re welcome. What you are doing for people is wonderful. And it’s really great to see others around me experiencing the same thing. You’re a star.
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