My Blogging Mistakes - Were Yours This Bad?

July 27, 2008

When I first started this blog, one of my main objectives was to share business mistakes I’d made, to help you avoid making them yourself. And 380 posts later, I’ve made plenty of blogging mistakes too.

Blogging About People You Know

On Exes: Blogging about an ex is a huge mistake. After all, you’ve probably worked hard to shut them out of your life, so why attract them back into it by writing about them? I made this foolish mistake when I was asked to participate in this meme and referred to my ex-husband as a prick, among other things. If you’ve blogged for any length of time, at some point you’ll attract undesirable people to your blog. But there’s no point in writing about them and attracting even more.

On Assholes, Freaks etc: In some posts I’ve made reference to assholes, or stalking freaks, although I didn’t point the finger at a specific person. Trouble is, if someone identifies with one of these posts, they might believe you’re actually blogging about them. They may even leave nasty comments, or break into your blog and try to sabotage it.

If you’re one of those people, I’m sorry if you recognised yourself as an asshole, or a freak in what I’ve written. And if it’s any consolation, now you’ve identified yourself as an asshole, or a freak - you have a great opportunity to work on the problem. I can highly recommend one of these excellent life coaches: Tim Brownson and Tom Volkar.

Allowing Personal Insults In The Comments Section: If you’re like me, some people may not like what you’ve written and call you “a bitch”, or even tell you to “go die”. But these things have no place in your comments section. I made the mistake of allowing a few of these comments to stay on the blog a little while before deleting them. Now, I make sure Askimet picks them up and puts them straight in the spam box where they belong.

Other Blogging Mistakes

I’ve made lots of other blogging mistakes too. Far too many to mention here. What about you - have you made mistakes when you were blogging. Were they relatively harmless? Did you blog about people you know? Did you regret it?

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Comments

31 Responses to “My Blogging Mistakes - Were Yours This Bad?”

Scott McIntyre on July 27th, 2008 5:15 pm

You have a brilliant attitude, Cath

So far, obviously, I’ve not made any of the mistakes you mention.

Personally, I’d think twice before publicly naming and shaming people- I’d be concerned about the legal implications too.

I’m not a fan of personal attacks and insults anyway- it’s just not my style.
cathlawson on July 27th, 2008 5:25 pm

Hi Scott - thanks. I usually avoid personal attacks too and you’re right - using real names may not always be smart. I read somewhere that it’s often safer to write a satirical post but you should also mark them as satire.

But I really hate gossip. And if someone has spread a lot of lies about you and damaged your reputation - you do reach the point where you think about suing them. In the case of my dad, I decided to blog about it instead.
Akemi - Yes to Me on July 27th, 2008 5:31 pm

Okay, so you noticed. That is all so good ^_^
I think your homework is working well — now you see your options better.

I’ve made my versions of mistakes and will be publishing some of it this coming week.

Akemi - Yes to Me’s last blog post..Gratitude Friday, Week 7, Gratitude From Akemi’s Inner Child
cathlawson on July 27th, 2008 5:40 pm

Hi Akemi - Thank you. You were right - beforehand, I could never see my options at all. I was completely lost before my soul reading. Thank you for helping me. It has changed my life.
Tim Brownson on July 27th, 2008 6:25 pm

LMAO - Hey Cath don’t send your assholes and freaks over to me I only coach nice people

I have made some big mistakes too, I think the most notable was holding back in my early days. Listening to the well meaning advice to keep politics, religion and sex out of my posts. I still leave the sex well alone so to speak, but I’m happy to talk about the others.

Thanks for the link and I await a sack load of weird e-mails from shady characters and wannabe stalkers.
Davina on July 27th, 2008 7:00 pm

Hi Cath.

I am laughing so hard right now because of this statement: “If you’re one of those people, I’m sorry if you recognised yourself as an asshole, or a freak in what I’ve written.” And, because of your referral to Tim and Tom… and, because I’ve just read Tim’s comment. Oh that belly laugh felt GREAT! Sigh.

It is kind of refreshing to read those swear words. I think there is a bitch or, ahem, if I may… a bastard in all of us just waiting to be released into the playground. Maybe if we all recognized this, we wouldn’t take these things so personally.

But, in case one of those feaks or assholes is reading this… I don’t mean you at all. This is personal reflection only… “It’s not you, it’s me”, as the saying goes. And if something does strike a chord, listen to that chord and see what note it might be playing. I bet we could all write a song…

Davina’s last blog post..Core Value Statements
Vered on July 27th, 2008 7:02 pm

When I started blogging, it took me a few weeks to find my voice - wasted weeks during which I published stuff that was empty of any real content - but I don’t really see it a mistake. It was part of the learning process.

There was a post where I referred to an email that was sent by another blogger. I never named that blogger, but looking back, I should have asked that person’s permission before I posted.

I also wrote a post that alienated mommy bloggers, because I said in that post that I choose NOT to center my blog around my kids, in order to protect their privacy. It wasn’t really a mistake though - I was simply being honest, without criticizing anyone. They chose to take it as criticism, which says more about them than it does about me.

I am really sorry about your childhood.

Vered’s last blog post..Being A Lawyer Was Sucking The Life Out Of Me
Davina on July 27th, 2008 8:28 pm

PS…. I got distracted by that belly laugh.

I read your post again and wanted to say that I see you have had some family challenges as a child and I’m sorry to hear that. I see also that you have developed a winning attitude and that will carry you far.

Davina’s last blog post..Core Value Statements
Al at 7P on July 27th, 2008 9:57 pm

Hi Cath,

I think before I started blogging I realized that having arguments on the internet is often a no-win situation. Took me a little while before I realize there are just people out there who wants to argue for the sake of arguing. I think for some people, having some level of anonymity brings out the worst in them.

Al at 7P’s last blog post..Jump Right In!
Week 33 - The Overview on July 27th, 2008 10:18 pm

[...] refers to a few blogging mistakes she has [...]
Natural on July 27th, 2008 10:34 pm

Hi Cath, one thing I don’t do that I would love to do is blog about family. They would be so upset at me putting their business out there…I try to limit what I say to me and even with myself, I can’t tell everything.

Mistakes? Not commenting back in the beginning. I haven’t made too many mistakes with blogging. I try to remember to have fun in between “teaching”.

Natural’s last blog post..As Not Yet Seen On TV
dawn @ iowahippiechick on July 27th, 2008 10:39 pm

I’ve made multiple mistakes …
But the two that stand out the most were:
Participating in a meme & tagging specific blogger links that may or may not want to participate in it.
Totally not fair to the unknowing bloggers!
My second large mistake was annihilating my blog during an incredibly stressful time in my life.
I canceled all my advertising, memberships, links, etc.
Pretty much everything but deleting the poor thing.
I damaged it pretty good with my actions.
These mistakes have taught me valuable lessons though!
So that’s one good thing out all the stupidity
dawn @ iowahippiechick’s last blog post..Improve Karma …
Kelly@SHE-POWER on July 28th, 2008 2:36 am

Do you feel better Cath from acknowledging the things you felt were a mistake? I hope so because whether any of these were in fact a mistake is really a matter of opinion. I can see, for example, why you wouldn’t name your dad in the toxic relatives post. It’s all about what you feel comfortable with. So, I think what you should take from these ‘mistakes’ is a decision about what boundaries are right for you and your blog. You do not need to explain those boundaries because they are yours.

For me, I am not comfortable naming others in my blog and I tend to focus on the positive, rather than the negative. That’s what works for me because personally it helps me stay sane and hopeful to look for the good in life. I ahve seen a lot of the bad and so now I just don’t give it my attention. And in my case it’s worked because life has become much more positive and I attract much better people into my experience now.

I think the biggest mistake I have made with my blog is worrying about this stupid niche business and trying to write posts that fit some version of what other people originally told me my blog was about. I have so many half written posts - about 50 - which are not finished because they have no soul in them.

They have no soul because I wrote with my analytical head, not my heart. I feel much happier since I decided to only write what I want and bugger if people don’t like it. As long as a small loyal audience do, I’ll keep going. If one day I am talking to myself, well then maybe I’ll stop. That said, maybe I should think about the marketing of my blog a bit more. I am undecided about this aspect and I am sure it has hindered my growth.

I say keep doing what works for you Cath. You have a popular blog and a loyal audience. We’re here and waiting so cut loose and let us see more of who you are. That can only be a good thing.

Kel x

PS. What’s happening with my questions?

Kelly@SHE-POWER’s last blog post..Happy 1 Year Anniversary to SHE-POWER
Cath Lawson on July 28th, 2008 2:53 am

Hi Tim - sorry. But you’re welcome for the link. Hopefully some nice folk will check you out. I’m kinda guessing the stalkers won’t get in touch with you. Mind you - I didn’t expect folk to come on here and actually admit to being a stumbleupon stalker either, so you never know.

Totally agree on the sex, politics and religion. You’ve got to include whatever topics you want haven’t you? It really sucks to keep censoring what you write all the time.

Hi Davina - I’m just pleased that something is making you laugh write now. It really makes you feel better doesn’t it. Re: The challenges as a child though, it has happened right up until now. Bullies don’t just stop because you get to a certain age - that’s why I’m not letting it happen anymore.

Hi Al - I know what you mean. I used to feel really upset when I got horrid comments. But as you say - what’s the point? People like that probably go round leaving mean comments all day. And you’re right - they’re always anonymous - even when it’s people you know. I guess they don’t realise that you can actually see their IP address.

Hi Valerie - I guess if you have family who you don’t want to upset, it wouldn’t be a great idea to blog about them. I must admit, I try to avoid mentioning most of my family too much. Even when it’s positive things, some people don’t like the intrusion on their privacy.

Hi Dawn - You weren’t to know about the meme. That one was harmless in comparison to the one I did participate in.

It was disappointing when you stopped blogging though. But at least you came back.

Cath Lawson’s last blog post..My Blogging Mistakes - Were Yours This Bad?
cathlawson on July 28th, 2008 3:05 am

Hi Kelly - The soulless stuff you have in draft sounds like some of the earlier stuff I published. I didn’t understand blogging then and some of it was more like a lesson out of a text book.

I’m glad you’re not getting too stressed over having a niche though. You don’t want to have to limit what you talk about too much. You have a really popular blog and your posts are all interesting.

I must confess, I haven’t marketed my blog much either. I think this is an area that is difficult for bloggers. Much of what you can do is so time consuming. And when you’re not making much from your blog, it’s not affordable to outsource it.

Going to send the questions today. You ask some complicated stuff. And will also do a pic for you. Think will definitely wear huge sunglasses though. Have just looked in the mirror and think I got up too early.
Robin on July 28th, 2008 3:52 am

Hi Cath

Perhaps you could stick to writing about family and ex-family in the comments section of other people’s blogs!! hehe

Robin’s last blog post..A Magic Trick For Relationships
cathlawson on July 28th, 2008 4:08 am

Hi Robin - Sorry - I know I did that on your latest post didn’t I? And I forgot these things were searchable. Hope I haven’t attracted any undesirables to your blog.
Alex Fayle on July 28th, 2008 5:18 am

My biggest mistake hasn’t been talking about others, but not engaging enough in conversations with my commentors. I’ve always been really bad at responding to comments and turning my blog into a discussion.

Cheers,
Alex

Alex Fayle’s last blog post..Vacation Notice
Barbara Swafford on July 28th, 2008 5:57 am

Hi Catherine,

My biggest mistake in blogging was not commenting on other blogs sooner than I did. I spent WAY too much time trying to figure out affiliate marketing. That’s when I thought I could get rich blogging. Haha.

All of the mistakes I made become lessons in learning blogging. I hope to pass on to other bloggers what I did wrong, so they can save themselves some headaches and time.

Barbara Swafford’s last blog post..Interview With Lorelle VanFossen - Part 4 - Finding Fresh Content
cathlawson on July 28th, 2008 6:07 am

Hi Alex - I guess that’s a mistake that many people make in the beginning. It’s all part of the learning process. And at least you were able to identify it and do something about it.

Hi Barbara - You mentioned the blog commenting thing to me before. It’s really tough to imagine you not commenting on blogs.

At least you’re able to share your mistakes with everyone now. You’re a great help to lots of bloggers - I know I’ve certainly received some great advice from you.
Kathy on July 28th, 2008 3:03 pm

I’ve found you can’t win, no matter HOW careful you are!!

I am careful to the point of going too far to not mention by name clients/contacts/etc. However, one time I tried to contact a graphic artist whose only web presence was Myspace. He did good work, but it took him 2 weeks to respond. I blogged about it (being VERY careful to not mention his name or the client who had referred him) and BOY was he PEEVED!!! He lit into me via email and told me I was an idiot because I didn’t follow the instructions for immediate contact on his Myspace page.

I now bear the HUGE burden of not being “allowed” to use his graphic design services.

So, even though I didn’t use his name, he STILL “caught” me and called me on it!

Now that I read your post, it’s probably a GOOD thing I used his profession if not his name. That way, I only peeved off the graphic designers I contacted who ignored my emails…. that narrowed the field greatly!

Kathy’s last blog post..What is Alexa? It’s a Website Traffic Spy Tool
cathlawson on July 29th, 2008 12:14 am

Hi Kathy - I love the way some business owners accuse the customer of being stupid, just because their website is virtually impossible to navigate.

It was a bit of a bugger him catching you blogging about him though. I have included an email I received in a future post. After reading what you just said, I think I’ll remove it though. I don’t want to get flamed by the person who sent me it - even though it was an incredibly stupid email.
Avani-Mehta on July 29th, 2008 6:15 pm

Hi Cath,

I made a mistake recently of not reviewing my post from third person’s point of view. Sometimes, what is obvious to me is not obvious to others because the context is not there. Good for me, now I not repeat the mistake
Avani-Mehta’s last blog post..Cheat Codes To Have A Happy Marriage
Thank You For Reading | MomGrind on July 31st, 2008 11:01 am

[...] Lawson - for your fierce honesty, for which you sometimes pay a price. For authoring a blog that manages to give great business [...]
Tom Volkar / Delightful Work on July 31st, 2008 11:19 am

Hi Cath,

If Tim doesn’t want the freaks you can send them my way. We are all assholes and freaks in some parts pf our lives, at some times and some folks really want to address their inner-asshole.

Thanks for the link. I’m with Robin I like to make my racier points in the comments section of blogs other than my own.

My biggest mistake is attaching too high of expectations to posts I deemed brilliant but hardly made a whimper in comments.

Who said mistakes are bad anyway? Mistakes are how we grow and adjust. It’s all good.

Tom Volkar / Delightful Work’s last blog post..What’s Really Possible?
JohnMRyan on July 31st, 2008 12:24 pm

Mistakes are a part of life and blogs…

For me the part about getting personal insults in the comments happened a few times.
1. I person asked me to go hang myself.
2. I person offered to meet me for “fun” and gave me a phone number, (not really an attack and not very tempting) LOL

JohnMRyan’s last blog post..Cuil – Google’s younger (and sexier?) sister?
Ellen Wilson on July 31st, 2008 3:38 pm

Hi Cath,
I’m not going to blog about people I know in a negative way because I know it will come back to haunt me. Even though I would like to sometimes.
I did call a male blogger a bitch one time and I regret that. The problem is I say that off hand at home to my husband like, “don’t be a bitch,” to kind of reverse the sexist stereotype, you know. But most guys probably don’t get it. Plus I was probably being too familiar when I shouldn’t have.
Wow, Cath. 380 posts is a lot. Congratulations on that.
Ellen

Ellen Wilson’s last blog post..Writing the Wild Within: Part 5 - Why Fly when You can Soar?
Coffeebreak on August 3rd, 2008 8:13 pm

[...] others’ mistakes (and less painful than making the mistakes yourself). This week Cath Lawson shared her blogging mistakes. What are [...]
cathlawson on August 13th, 2008 12:16 am

Hi Avani - I guess that is an easy mistake to make when you have a great knowledge of your topic.

Hi Tom - You crack me up. That would be a fab book title you know “Address Your Inner Asshole.” Go on - I dare you - you know you really want to. I would definitely buy it. And I bet lots of folks would buy it for ex bosses, ex husbands etc.

Hi John - I don’t know which is the most scary - being told to hang yourself, or some wacko asking you to meet them for fun. I’m glad you declined to do either.

Hi Ellen - It’s difficult not to offend people isn’t it. As you say - something you just mean in fun can be taken quite seriously by readers.
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