Adam and Eve Part 2: A Kick In The Teeth

August 21, 2008


“You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.”
Walt Disney

Satire

This is a series post on the effects of bad relationships on business and success. It’s about fictional characters - Adam and Eve. You’ll probably enjoy the story more if you read Part 1: Relationships, Are You Kissing Goodbye To Success?

Eve Gets A Kick In The Teeth

Eve is bleeding knackered and she’s beginning to hallucinate. So she tells Adam she’s had enough and he beats her up - even though she tries to escape. This has happened to Eve before but she doesn’t know who to tell. So she goes into work and when her staff ask what’s wrong, she says she fell.

She’s still enjoying her work. The business is doing great. And a few weeks later, Adam says, “Hey Eve, you don’t need to work here anymore. The business can run itself. Why don’t you take a break?”

But Eve does something strange now - something beyond Adam’s belief. And what caused this new behaviour was a metaphorical kick in the teeth.

She doesn’t want to leave the business that she saved and built. And if she’s not there running it, they’ll be in shit up to the hilt. “I’m legally a partner now - I’m staying and that’s a fact. And if you think it can run itself then you really are a twat. But don’t worry I’ll just stay long enough to get my money back.”

Adam is annoyed now - Eve usually believes his bullshit. Plus she’s always working - he wants to go out with his girlfriend while she babysits the kids. And the business is making money now, but she won’t let him spend it. And that’s really pissing Adam off, because he’s told his girlfriend he’s loaded.

Cashflow Isn’t Important Right?

So Adam takes a break from fun, to pay a visit to the bank. There’s heaps of money in there - well over ten grand ($20,000). It’s for something called cashflow, Eve said - but he thinks that’s a load of shit. He needs to have that money now to prove that he is rich. So he withdraws every single penny. Eve won’t have a clue. He’ll tell her the ATM swallowed their card and hide the bank statement too.

Now Eve might be too trusting, but she’s not exactly stupid. And when the bank statement doesn’t come, she asks them to send a copy. And when it finally arrives and she sees what Adam has done, she calls a locksmith right away and has the locks changed on their home.

Then she meets with Adam and tells him, “One of us must go.” And Adam smiles because he thinks he’s won but there’s something he doesn’t know. “I’m prepared to leave the business,” Eve says knowing she’d have the last laugh. “The only thing is, if you stay, you won’t have any staff.”

It doesn’t take Adam long to realize he his done. How can he work and have no staff - he’d have no time for fun. But to be fair to Adam - Eve happily agrees, to pay off his fun bank loan and as for his personal credit cards, she’ll take care of some of these.

The Urban Myth - All Business Owners Are Rich

She doesn’t know how she’ll manage, but she sees no other way. She’ll have to delay her creditors and find more work so she can pay.

Eve knows Adam won’t go easily, so she’s not really surprised, when her phone rings at all hours, cos he’s told his family lies. “You’ve made our Adam homeless,” Adam’s mother said, “The poor little lad’s wandering the streets, he’s got no roof over his head.”

Now Eve has plenty of problems and she doesn’t need this shit. Adam’s family must be thick if they don’t realise where he is. She’s avoiding paying bills until her finances are better. But all these calls are driving her mad, then she gets a solicitor’s letter:

“Adam is entitled to receive a massive wage and live the lifestyle he’s become accustomed to - and this will have to be paid by you.”

By now Eve is livid. Adam obviously hasn’t been honest about the state he left the business in. So she crumples up the letter and throws it in the bin.

Money Doesn’t Last Forever

A few months later on, Adam is feeling sad. He’s running out of money and he’s heard Eve isn’t doing bad. He’s not a partner in the business anymore and the thought of Eve making money, is really making him mad.

But he has a secret weapon - access to Eve’s account. He’s been taking money in dribs and drabs - and now he wants more out.

His new job is an easy one. Who said crime doesn’t pay? Adam is quite happy robbing Eve’s bank account every single day. Soon he’s taking a grand ($2000) a week. It’s better than a job he thinks and hopes she doesn’t click.

Helping Yourself To Money Earned By Another Is Theft

Eve’s pissed off when she realises her business account is being robbed again. She’s been on at the bank for months, but they keep messing her about. All the money Adam is taking is cash that she has earned. But her solicitor says she can’t do a thing until the bank changes the account - it really is a pain.

Ten weeks pass by and Adam’s still robbing Eve’s earnings blind. So Eve calls her bank manager’s assistant, but records of these daily transactions is something he can’t find. And as for changing the bank account, he apologises but these things take a lot of time.

Eve’s had enough by now, the bank is having a laugh. And as for her solicitor, she wonders if he and her bank manager are partners in golf. So she calls the bank’s helpline and they find the transactions straight away. Adam’s been using his passport for ID. Eve’s says, “fuck - you mean they let someone do that - every single day?”

So Eve goes into the bank on Saturday, when the bank manager isn’t there. And aside from a few direct debits to go out - she leaves the business account bare. Her bank manager isn’t happy when he sees what she has left. So he writes to her and reminds her, she needs to keep paying, Adam’s fun loan debt.

Eve sends the bank one payment, accompanied by a letter - unless the bank send itemized proof of Adam’s theft - they can go fug themselves - she isn’t their debtor.

Well, things got a lot worse for Adam and Eve. Do you think Eve did the wrong thing staying in the business until she got her money back? What would you have done? Did she do the right thing throwing Adam out of the business and the house? And do you think she has the slimmest chance of getting her money back? Each time there’s been cash in the bank, Adam has taken it - will this send the business down the tubes?

This is a series post. If you’d like to read the final part of the series, click here to subscribe in a reader.


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Comments

13 Responses to “Adam and Eve Part 2: A Kick In The Teeth”

  1. Avani-Mehta on August 21st, 2008 6:44 pm

    You are a great story teller Cath. I am hooked to the story and wish to finish it at one sitting (like I usually do with novels). Unfortunately I won’t be able to do so this time and will have to wait :)
    Avani-Mehta’s last blog post..Decoding Anger - Anger Management Series Part I

  2. Hunter Nuttall on August 21st, 2008 7:08 pm

    Very engaging story, but are you sure these characters are fictional? They seem awfully familiar to me.

    Hunter Nuttall’s last blog post..Is Writing For Search Engines Killing The Web?

  3. Vered on August 21st, 2008 8:39 pm

    Yeah, I agree with Hunter. :)

    I am looking forward to the final part!

    Vered’s last blog post..Thank You For Smoking

  4. cathlawson on August 21st, 2008 10:49 pm

    Hi Avani - thanks.

    Hi Hunter - I know they might seem real - but they seemed so life like when I was creating them. I guess that’s why they come across like that.

    Hi Vered - glad you liked it but they’re just figments of my imagination - honest.

    LOL Rita - Those wouldn’t be those New Yorker friends with the funny noses would they?

  5. Kelly@SHE-POWER on August 22nd, 2008 1:13 am

    Adam needs to meet a big man in a dark alley, and Eve needs to do whatever it takes to cut Adam from her life and stop the downward spiral. if that means leaving the business, I think it’s a small price to pay. There will be other businesses, but a leech will stick to your leg forever if you let it.

    Kelly x

    Kelly@SHE-POWER’s last blog post..The Marbella Money Shot

  6. Robin on August 22nd, 2008 1:21 am

    This is getting SO exciting!

    But a bit depressing, in a way, because these Adam characters always seem to end up just becoming non-entities, because we just have to let them go. I want to see something HAPPEN to him, but I suspect I won’t.

    (funny how I’m thinking of doing a post about forgiveness)

    Robin’s last blog post..Reincarnation… A Scenario

  7. Steve Mills on August 22nd, 2008 1:56 am

    visually strong metaphors for sure.

    Storytelling can be a great way to get concepts across to people. Keep up the good work!

    Steve Mills’s last blog post..Rebel Zen Master: Jonathan Mead

  8. Barbara Swafford on August 22nd, 2008 7:18 am

    Hi Catherine,

    Adam is quickly developing very bad karma. I’m hoping for a happy ending, as I don’t know how much more Eve can take.

    Barbara Swafford’s last blog post..Four Day Open Mic - 8/21 to 8/24/08

  9. cathlawson on August 22nd, 2008 7:59 am

    Hi Kelly - People like Adam are like leeches aren’t they? Trouble is - will he actually ever leave Eve alone even if she does leave the business?

    LOL Rita - New York is a crazy place. I found the people there to be upbeat and friendly there in general but I bet there’s plenty of mean ones too.

    Hi Robin - I know what you mean. Often Adam types don’t get the ending they deserve. But sometimes - just not being able to suck energy, money etc from people any more is good enough punishment for people like Adam. Of course, I doubt whether they give up trying that easily.

    Thanks Steve - I’m hoping that this story will do just that. Stories are a good way to help people in bad situations. Sometimes it’s easier for them to learn when it seems more real.

    Hi Barbara - I totally agree. I don’t know how Eve put up with all that shit. I think the one thing in her favour is that she ditched the doormat mentality in this part of the story. That was probably her greatest enemy

    I don’t think people like Adam realise how long bad karma lasts.

    I had a strange message in my spam folder from someone who has stalked me for ages. They seemed to think this story was about them. I would be really ashamed of myself if I recognised myself as having done the things that Adam did in this story. But I guess some people just don’t have any morals.

  10. Al at 7P on August 22nd, 2008 1:30 pm

    Wow, I didn’t know you were such a gritty author! Waiting to see how this one unfolds…

    Al at 7P’s last blog post..Why Should I Help You?

  11. cathlawson on August 22nd, 2008 1:50 pm

    Hi Al - Thank you. I hope you enjoy the rest.

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